Babies, Cute and Kids: Judgemental - FML

Judgemental

By ugly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 397

You deserved it 4 531

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 595

You deserved it 3 244

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 667

You deserved it 348

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 206

You deserved it 5 870

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 311

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 547

You deserved it 4 255

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 993

You deserved it 3 901

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 1 662

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 777

You deserved it 3 384

Too late

By dumpedtaco - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 359

You deserved it 451

By thatonekid - 27/07/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 474

You deserved it 3 545

Next

Top comments

Saltime 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:20

Did the baby tell her that? No? Then she has no proof.

davie101 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

That is what brown bags are made for- don't forget the eye slits. just a suggestion...

Comments

999pun999 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:16

sucks

Leeshawbrown 3

Monday 27 June 2011 2:41

This would be even funnier if OP and her sister were identical twins.

marcyfrances 4

Monday 27 June 2011 2:47

your family is obviously not very close! I'm sorry

lemonsquid 6

Monday 27 June 2011 6:06

AHAHA still I bet your face is terribly hilarious! xD

Saniyah22 0

Monday 27 June 2011 6:30

u must be one ugly mother.....

Garyy_fml 11

Monday 27 June 2011 6:31

You're brothers a dick.

ermkrmr 0

Monday 27 June 2011 7:24

pregnant women are very hormonal, and can come off as rude, my mom started yelling at my dads buddies to get off the property when she first had me. Just make a joke of it and embarrass her at the next family reunion ;) and don't let her forget it! :)

l0606299 0

Monday 27 June 2011 8:18

uhh well that's not very good! I wouldn't know what to say! "ummm... o alright.. that's... ******* awesome...."

clay2232 3

Monday 27 June 2011 16:43

could someone tell me what op means??

seeunexttuesdays 6

Monday 27 June 2011 18:15

probably the lamest excuse to get rid of you considering the baby didnt ACTUALLY say: "aunties face scares the crap outta me!"

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 133

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 319

You deserved it 70 709

Today, I got threatened with a gun at the drive-thru, all because my coworker forgot to include extra fries in the guy's order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 139

You deserved it 1 610

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276 740

You deserved it 37 114

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 694

You deserved it 37 803

Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 192

You deserved it 4 366

Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 141