Babies, Cute and Kids: Judgemental - FML

Judgemental

By ugly - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 397

You deserved it 4 531

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 595

You deserved it 3 244

Hard no

By badsitter - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 667

You deserved it 348

Scary!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 206

You deserved it 5 870

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 311

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 547

You deserved it 4 255

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 993

You deserved it 3 901

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 1 662

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 777

You deserved it 3 384

Too late

By dumpedtaco - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 359

You deserved it 451

By thatonekid - 27/07/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 474

You deserved it 3 545

Next

Top comments

Saltime 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:20

Did the baby tell her that? No? Then she has no proof.

davie101 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

That is what brown bags are made for- don't forget the eye slits. just a suggestion...

Comments

loserman67 35

Thursday 28 July 2011 21:10

WOW, nice sister - sounds like you come from a well adjusted family. OR..... maybe you need to cut back on the Tammy Faye Baker makeup?

ashtree 12

Friday 5 August 2011 20:02

Aww. :/ That's messed up.

SecretlyEvil9792 22

Friday 12 August 2011 20:31

FYL.

outbackbyrd 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 22:01

Ouch... Oh well, time to suck it up and find a new baby to devote your time and love to.

ZDK5498 6

Monday 19 December 2011 22:57

Your sister is a BITCH and should be more sensitive of your feelings... I would feel kind of offended if I were you... but don't feel bad. some babies just cry for unknown reasons and it might not be your fault so do get down on yourself :)

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 13 May 2012 18:23

Forever ugly... All babies are like that. They like some people and hate others.

burmillababe 7

Monday 25 March 2013 10:27

On the plus side, you won't have to deal with it crying and puking.....

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 24 September 2014 11:04

Like the child will remember from that point...either way that's just a mean way to say leave me and my child alone

heatherrr17 19

Wednesday 15 June 2016 7:55

Lmfao

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 11 August 2016 19:14

Do you have piercings?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 229

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 976

You deserved it 1 232

Today, my brother, a plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 977

You deserved it 2 332

Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 102

Today, my girlfriend told me she is breaking up with me for my friend, because she likes people with diaper fetishes. I had no clue either of them liked that stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 111

Today, after having my Apple Watch for a year, it asked me something it has never asked me before. As I began my hike around a lake, 10 minutes in, it asked if I was starting to workout. I hit yes, and it then congratulated me on my very first workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 725

Today, I went into work with the mentality that all of my ass-busting work was going to result in me finally being promoted to manager. We had a site meeting. The entire building is being laid off because Apple cut our contract. Yay, I'm out of a job. I hate Apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 223