Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "No worries" to mean "Don't give a shit about anything." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
Jowisee 29
When she asks for something, tell her Hakuna Matata. She'll soon get the idea!
lat187 18
What a wonderful phrase!
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Comments (61)
ertyert 12
she's got life figured out
lexred 30
Hakuna Matata to u OP. She's just a child when she'll grow up....she'll understand.
SebastianCT 14
Inbred....
Mathalamus 25
Just a question. Why are you asking your six year old to do anything?
molloytony 2
Would you not ask your 6 year old to clean up their toys after play for example? I personally feel its good parenting.
SweetasCandy0609 28
because#19 it teaches them at a young age responsibility.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Really? "Brush your teeth." "Pick out some clothes to wear." "Quiet now, it's time for bed." All reasonable things to ask a six year old to do. I highly doubt she's asking her to remodel the house or anything else outlandish.
Mathalamus 25
Lay off, it's been a while since I was six. And I never really considered this. Meh, good thing I know I would be a shitty parent. And banned children because of that. Still better than most parents, though.
SolidSteak 5
Exactly, order them. You're supposed to be the one in charge.
SaniK 17
Of she does that again just lean in real close, like uncomfortably close and whisper in her ear "I killed mufasa for not doing what I asked him to do" then walk slowly out of the room and right before you exit turn around and make the same request again then wink at her and leave.
SweetasCandy0609 28
You should tell her that she doesn't get to watch any tv until she can learn to respect you because she will keep doing it as long as you allow for her to, I know she's only six but it doesn't mean she to young to learn some respect especially to her parents.
msmedieval 11
This. Just because she's six doesn't give her a free pass to do whatever she likes, especially if it's a non-negotiable thing like listening to her parents. Kids need boundaries & if they don't learn to follow rules when little, they'll only get worse as they grow up.
Brandi_Faith 34
Exactly. Or else they become crappy, self-entitled adults that the rest of the world has to deal with.
meunluckycharms 16
It is in de past!
Skylyric52 11
1 word: Savage
SilentSin 23
Well at least you're raising her right by letting her watch the older Classic Disney movies
Scarylizard1798 23
I was gonna take time to make a good comment but...hakuna matada
crudeandrudeguy 29
Matata