Today, at work, we were talking about how Google apparently has a room full of puppies for when their employees are feeling stressed. I made a very loud joke about how we should get a room full of company prostitutes for when we feel stressed, not realizing there was a customer and my manager in the store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML
Today, at work, I hooked up with a gorgeous customer in a storage shed. Somehow all my coworkers knew within five minutes, so there’s that, but my direct manager now won’t even look at me because apparently he fancied me himself, but didn’t realise I was a lesbian. FML
Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML
Today, my coworker said her dog died. Without thinking, I tried to cheer her up and said, “Oh man, that’s rough. Get it? Ruff? Ruff ruff!” and giggled like a schoolgirl. Nobody laughed. My coworker burst into more tears. I have a Teams video meeting with my supervisor and HR this afternoon. FML
Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
You’re at work. Stick to joking about beer.
RichardPencil 32
You shouldn't make a joke about that! You should put it in the Suggestion Box. It's a great idea!
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Comments (3)
poopface82 25
You’re at work. Stick to joking about beer.
RichardPencil 32
You shouldn't make a joke about that! You should put it in the Suggestion Box. It's a great idea!
tiptoppc 21
As someone who has worked at Google before, that’s bullshit. No, no room of puppies. Nerf guns yes, not dogs. Well, except some employees brought their own dogs in, but they stayed at their desk and couldn’t cause problems