Love, Intimacy and Sex: In the mood for love

In the mood for love

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 16:00 - Germany

Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 169

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Can't be arsed, to be honest

By whatamidoingwrong - 22/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 233

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 994

You deserved it 9 413

You'd know by now

By Anonymous - 15/01/2016 04:51 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 433

You deserved it 2 465

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 387

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 251

You deserved it 8 412

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 108

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 998

You deserved it 4 704

Get on with it!

By not sexy anymore - 28/07/2020 05:01

Today, my boyfriend asked why I’ve been so grumpy lately. When I told him it’s because our relationship has been severely lacking in intimacy, he sighed heavily and said, “Ugh, fine, let’s just get it over with!” Gee, thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 327

Empathy Man

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 02:02

Today, I told my man I was feeling a lack of emotional closeness and dialogue in our relationship. I'd hoped for a comeback like, "So what do you need in order to change that?" Or even, "Aw, come here, let's cuddle!" Instead, I got a simple, "I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 365

Benny Goodman classic

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 178

Lffayen 4

Wednesday 21 August 2024 17:11

Ya gotta be more direct with men. We're idiots. Tell him ya need foreplay because with him it is extremely enjoyable.

Thaylok 17

Wednesday 21 August 2024 17:48

Try introducing some role-playing. or better yet, let your inner dominatrix take charge. You both may find it enjoyable.

Comments

emmalou 19

Wednesday 21 August 2024 16:15

so he's an X now right?

Lffayen 4

Wednesday 21 August 2024 17:11

Ya gotta be more direct with men. We're idiots. Tell him ya need foreplay because with him it is extremely enjoyable.

Thaylok 17

Wednesday 21 August 2024 17:48

Try introducing some role-playing. or better yet, let your inner dominatrix take charge. You both may find it enjoyable.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 522

The Top

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 195

You deserved it 2 500

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 469

You deserved it 83 218

Today, I told a guy at work about my boyfriend. His immediate response was to ask me if I was making him up. He's the third person to react this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 220

You deserved it 3 924

Today, I fell off my truck and landed on one of the stakes my wife uses to keep her plants upright. I landed on it so perfectly that it went through my shorts and perfectly straight up my asshole for a good 4 inches before it snapped. My wife helpfully removed it, but I still spent a night in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 136

Today, I entered a raffle at a local fashion designer event; the prize was $400 credit at the store that was hosting it (which was just enough for one of their dresses). Good news: I won! Bad news: they don't carry a single thing above a women's size 5. I'm 6'2" and 180 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 1 411

Today, I went to a Stoplight Party. Green shirt = single, yellow = hard to get, and red = taken. I showed up wearing a red shirt and saw my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked him jokingly why he wasn't wearing red. He looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 689

You deserved it 6 123

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments