Bruce
United States
If the shoe fits…
Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Hello little guy
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
TLM9312
Madoc, Canada
Get it out!
Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML
Anonymous
Columbus, United States
Vampires are everywhere
Today, at 1:30 a.m., a big ass bat squeezed its nasty body through the bottom crack of the door. My sweet little Corgi cowered on the bed as the bat flew circles around my head. I'll be moving now. FML
terrified
Forest City, United States
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
traumatizedforlife
United States
Alas, poor Kermit
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
life_suxxx
United States
Bad doggy
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Three piece suite
Today, I found out my father sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at night to inform them there was a bat in the house. I’m traumatized. FML
Anonymous
United States
Sole music
Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML
Top comments
shiri2qt4u 0
Lets all hope that bat was edward cullen.....the gay sparkly vampire
mattman1994 0
28 it was really a sparkly depressed 100 year old teenager? in that case I hope it's dead too
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Comments (180)
nerdsgetmehot 23
Did you accidentally kill it? :/
soccerdude101 0
u g lll yyyyyy
loony69 0
get over it
kierstinlynne 0
that really sucks..is the bat ok?
Karynthebabe101 0
omfg ewew!!
StrangeCandy 0
And I thought finding one flying around my kitchen was bad.
oldenuff2party 3
u Ddnt check before u put ur shoe on?
derkaderk 1
how did ur foot even fit in the shoe if there was a bat in there???
shiri2qt4u 0
Lets all hope that bat was edward cullen.....the gay sparkly vampire
Spastastic 6
Edward Cullen isn't cool enough to turn into a bat.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#36 True. Instead of a bat, Edward Cullen turns into a flamingo.
Crystal_Dreams 0
Flamingoes are incredible! All animals are. Can't stupid Edward just turn into a stupid person? Or a lump of mouldy poop?
Spastastic 6
He doesn't need to turn into a stupid person, he already is one. I think just being a controlling, abusive, misogynistic douchebag is enough for him.
Crystal_Dreams 0
He's not a person, he's a vampire. But, I don't know, I don't care, he doesn't even exist! What DID exist was this poor bat. Stupid person! ...I wasn't saying you were stupid, by the way, I was saying the person that squished the bat was stupid!
Spastastic 6
Haha, I didn't think you were. I dunno, I don't even consider him to be a real vampire... SMeyer just made up her own stupid vampire lore that doesn't even make sense. I'm hoping they didn't actually squish the bat, just nudge it. D:
Lounia_fml 8
And a pedophile. Don't forget that one.
Crystal_Dreams 0
I hope they didn't squish it, but they would have probably still terrified it to death. :( It's not really an FML if they didn't kill it, though... *Walks up to shoes. Slips foot in. Feels something furry in there. Pulls foot out. Looks in shoe* 'Oh, there's a bat in there! (Still alive) Oh, F MY LIFE!!!!! Inconveniently, there is a bat in my shoe which I have now got out and let outside, ohhh F MY LIFE, I am slightly delayed in putting my shoes on, my life is completely ruined!!!' It doesn't really count as an FML to me unless he either got bat guts between his toes or perhaps got bitten and now has rabies. :S
Spastastic 6
True, Lounia, true. The pedophilia really gets out of hand when it comes to the werewolves' "imprinting" thing...
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lulz. Spas, you *have* been reading Mark's blog! ;) Not that you'd need to in order to see the craziness, but y'know. He expresses it so well with comments like FFFFUUUU and WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN. :D
Spastastic 6
Yep, I did, and it was amazing, although I had already read another blog that pointed out many of the same things. I don't know if you saw, but he's currently doing the same thing with Harry Potter. He knew nothing about it when he started, and is now one of the biggest Harry Potter fans I've ever seen. Think that's enough of an incentive for you to read them? :D
Love2Laugh97 0
omg thats gross
ic0nb0y 0
time to strike fear in the hearts of criminals make your fear,..... THEIRS!!!