Work, Illness, Poopoo peepee and Capitalism: Pee is stored in the balls

Pee is stored in the balls

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 02:01 - Belgium - Lint

Today, I learned two things: first, that a bladder infection may spread to your testicles, and second, that the first does not excuse you from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 94

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Same thing different taste

By PissyPuss - 10/12/2015 21:38 - United States

Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 1 854

By Duchess - 20/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 503

You deserved it 713

J'ACCUSE!

By hurtswhenipee3 - 11/01/2023 16:00

Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 180

You deserved it 40 093

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 131

Are you?

By lxygrl - 20/07/2019 13:07 - United States - Phenix City

Today, I was told I have kidney stones, kidney infections, and a bladder infection and that I have to get admitted into the hospital. I let my boss know, and she replied, "But you're still coming in for your shift tonight, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 311

You deserved it 128

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 009

You deserved it 8 040

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2011 18:40 - United States

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 339

You deserved it 16 686

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 529

You deserved it 244 015

By Darth Spasticus - 14/11/2015 09:12 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 690

You deserved it 1 766

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 September 2021 3:05

Third, testicular self-massage at work is a career-limiting move.

Marcella1016 31

Saturday 18 September 2021 5:09

Or career-enhancing, depending on what your boss is into...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 18 September 2021 3:05

Third, testicular self-massage at work is a career-limiting move.

Marcella1016 31

Saturday 18 September 2021 5:09

Or career-enhancing, depending on what your boss is into...

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 18 September 2021 22:37

But does the latter excuse you from work?🤔

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I wanted to ask my girlfriend to marry me, so as she loves crosswords, I created my own where the answers spelled out "MARRY ME EVE." Unfortunately, it seems I made the clues a bit too difficult as she only solved two, gave up, and got mad at me for making her feel dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 149

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 359

The Top

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 158

You deserved it 3 947

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 931

You deserved it 7 757

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 605

You deserved it 13 185

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 188

You deserved it 25 338

Today, my boss bitched me out for accepting a fake £100 note. It was a genuine note, but he couldn't believed someone would actually use such a note at a KFC. When I protested, he took it further and deducted the “lost profits” from my pay. The man is an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 112

Today, when I told a gentleman that, no, he couldn't have cash back on his return without a receipt, he started screaming at me that I was calling his mother a liar. He told me to lawyer up and yelled at me for smiling at him. He also screamed at me to go on a diet as he left the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 137