Animals and Miscellaneous: If the shoe fits… - FML

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 3 658

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Same thing different taste

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 207

You deserved it 4 592

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 568

You deserved it 4 994

Get it out!

By TLM9312 - 07/06/2023 12:00 - Canada - Madoc

Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 95

Vampires are everywhere

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 17:01 - United States - Columbus

Today, at 1:30 a.m., a big ass bat squeezed its nasty body through the bottom crack of the door. My sweet little Corgi cowered on the bed as the bat flew circles around my head. I'll be moving now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 244

By terrified - 09/08/2015 03:10 - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 2 448

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 439

You deserved it 6 807

Bad doggy

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 579

You deserved it 4 909

Three piece suite

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 23:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I found out my father sleeps in the nude, when I rushed into my parents room at night to inform them there was a bat in the house. I’m traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 647

Sole music

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 397

You deserved it 3 982

Next

Top comments

shiri2qt4u 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 23:33

Lets all hope that bat was edward cullen.....the gay sparkly vampire

mattman1994 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 23:34

28 it was really a sparkly depressed 100 year old teenager? in that case I hope it's dead too

Comments

Zandesh 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 15:41

It's funny because you found a bat... with your toe. I bet it was moist

kuddles 13

Wednesday 18 August 2010 17:52

This reminds me of this one time where I was putting on my trainers and a huge black spider came crawling out... :[ Ever since then I have made sure to check my shoes before wearing them. By the way, poor bat :| It probably got squished.

Carmenpeneku 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 23:05

Oh wtf bet that hurt

UpYoursInAdvance 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 3:39

Ooooooh FYL So Bad did it bite?!

the4starr 3

Friday 20 August 2010 15:14

cute ! I love bats :)

MCRmyGeneral 9

Thursday 1 March 2012 14:31

Eek!

shinshoku13 19

Thursday 8 March 2012 14:53

Awwww i find bats soooo cute XD

EMTchic 14

Wednesday 20 June 2012 7:23

poor bat !!

hsRoseTyler5 14

Monday 8 April 2013 3:08

I sincerely hope your name is truly Bruce.

an3ph 20

Tuesday 10 December 2013 10:27

The inspiration for the next batman movie.

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Today, I told myself, "Come on you geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your computer, go for a walk." I finally mustered the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've now been in an internet café for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 487

You deserved it 9 080

Today, I discovered that the delicious beef jerky strips I’ve been eating all week are actually the dog’s teeth cleaning chews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 445

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 008

You deserved it 158 366

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 880

You deserved it 2 972

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 233

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 381

You deserved it 42 824