Today, after months of having my standards lowered by how unattractive guys' dating profiles are, I found myself masturbating to the yellow guy from Sin City. Yep. He's hot compared to my real options. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I was flirting with this really attractive guy on a dating website until he became convinced I wasn't real by my pictures and bio, and stopped messaging me and reported me for spam. He was really, really cute and funny, and seemed like a great guy until then. Guess I'm too vanilla. FML
Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML
Today, I realized that in the 3 and half month relationship with a wonderful guy I truly like, so far I've masturbated more than the whole year I was single before I met him. FML
Today, the "hot" guy I've been talking to for a few weeks sent me a picture. He was very overweight and not good looking at all. He then followed up with, "Now send me one of you so I can prove to all of my friends that you're real." FML
Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cybersex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
If physical attractiveness is your biggest disqualifier and you disqualify literally EVERY picture you see, then the problem here is you. Especially if you find that creature attractive.
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Comments (1)
tounces7 28
If physical attractiveness is your biggest disqualifier and you disqualify literally EVERY picture you see, then the problem here is you. Especially if you find that creature attractive.