Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, I sent my grandfather a picture of me because he hasn't seen me in years. I guess I should wear makeup next time, because he sent back a heavily photoshopped and cropped version and told me how beautiful I look. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML
Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML
Today, my grandpa died. I called my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit, "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML
Today, my grandfather kept on asking me questions about my girlfriend, and was obviously proud of the things he remembered about her. The only thing he couldn't remember is that we broke up. I had to talk with him about our "great relationship" for over an hour. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
At least he didn't spray you with Windex to try to remove the ugly stain blocking his view. That's a start :)
DocBastard 40
Yes, yes! More curmudgeonly old man stories! More!! I'm taking notes so I know just how nasty I can act when I'm that old.
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Comments (43)
Fusion_Fear 14
Sorry OP, maybe try to hang out with him more?
patrickalamo 48
Or hit him back with some sarcasm, make the old f**ker laugh it is a good way to start a conversation.
ebonyirony 29
he prolly was just embarrassed that you caught him. now he'll never look at you again. good luck being part of his life now.
ebonyirony 29
I realised that the sarcasm in my statement wasn't exactly obvious. we can thumb me down now because it looks rather awful.
ManInTheMachine 20
No, it was pretty obvious. But it's better you disclosed so someone doesn't make a fool out of themselves by saying 'I hope you're not being serious'.
gc327072 31
MITM- but they would've said your and not you're, thus making a bigger idiot out of themselves.
emmaa3451 11
Looking at someone/ zoning out isn't really showing affection... I think you should communicate more with your family.
RaveBlade 4
Well maybe you should make the first step towards re-connecting with your grandfather , and not to wait until he does it.
perdix 31
At least he didn't spray you with Windex to try to remove the ugly stain blocking his view. That's a start :)
DocBastard 40
Yes, yes! More curmudgeonly old man stories! More!! I'm taking notes so I know just how nasty I can act when I'm that old.
Jag_v 7
I think it comes naturally with age.
unknown_user5566 27
"When" you're that old, Doc? I was under the impression that you were already a grumpy old man. :)
DocBastard 40
Grumpy, yes. Old, not yet. Dagnabbit.
gc327072 31
What's that? DocBastard is evolving! He evolved into GranpaBastard!
Zaros_fml 24
Just make sure you have a cane and yell at people for being on your lawn, even when it isn't your lawn, Doc. I'm sure you'll be a ripe old bastard when your time comes
vismund_cygnus 2
Doc- Judging by your profile pic, I doubt you'll be doing much aging from now on.
MrFuckingFrazier 3
Hey, at least he can still see.
ManInTheMachine 20
Your grandfather is probably one of those people that shows affection through aggression. Tell him you were imagining wiping the ugly off of his face, and you'll be in hug city! Your grandpa wouldn't be House, by any chance?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
My grandad is the same. If he calls you a bastard, that means you're in his good books.
emeraldisle 30
That's sad. I'd hate for him to pass away and never change his ways.
WCARlover 35
Wow I can't imagine having a grandfather that wouldn't even wave back at you. He may have his reasons, but that doesn't excuse the fact that he's a douche