Sex, Painful and Intimacy: Great idea

Great idea

By anonymous - 22/03/2012 04:46 - United States - Chelsea

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 891

You deserved it 6 937

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Same thing different taste

Bernie

By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 946

You deserved it 614

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 2 164

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 808

You deserved it 4 626

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 306

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 644

You deserved it 9 529

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 301

You deserved it 5 108

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 17:34 - Canada

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 719

You deserved it 25 755

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 04:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 223

You deserved it 39 324

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 074

You deserved it 5 616

By Anonymous - 24/10/2017 06:00

Today, I had a few drinks with a female friend after having a bad week. I got so wasted that I wound up ending the night by giving my boyfriend a rimjob. He thoroughly enjoyed it and thinks it's going to be a regular thing now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 571

You deserved it 7 144

hatesfate 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 11:53

That's hot

harrypotter955 19

Thursday 22 March 2012 11:58

Only in Michigan can this happen.

Comments

Norris_IV 1

Wednesday 13 June 2012 2:07

Only one thing he could say there: Sorry for party rocking!

donkeytowel 11

Tuesday 25 June 2013 7:28

that actually sounds really fun :D

Briar101 12

Wednesday 11 June 2014 8:05

Fireball whiskey

Countryboy1996 18

Monday 23 March 2015 8:23

Get your redneck ahh tf off FML lmao ?

joco4 27

Wednesday 9 December 2015 9:11

But, why?

joco4 27

Wednesday 9 December 2015 9:12

But, why?

Keywords

Work Mental health Students Relatable Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Intimacy Wanker Family First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Transportation Cars Cops Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 11

Today, no matter how well we tried to raise out daughter, things aren't looking too bright. I was present, I listened, and she told me her problems. My husband was always there for her too, no matter what. She works and studies but her role models consist of celebrities and girls who sell themselves on OnlyFans. FML

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The Top

Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 2 899

Today, while my boyfriend was fingering me, he accidentally pulled out my NuvaRing, he then licked it off and placed it back inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 526

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 834

You deserved it 4 206

Today, I had to admit to everyone, including my cable guy, that I'm moving back in with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 729

You deserved it 9 434

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 215

You deserved it 3 452

Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 6 464