Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I slept with on our first date and bailed on me the next day is dating a friend of mine. In fact, they’re still together after sleeping together on the first date. Nice to know my vagina couldn’t make him stay with me. FML
Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML
Today, I slept with a best friend after 32 years of him trying. He is visiting from overseas. I just found out he's had a girlfriend for 17 years, who he forgot to mention, and I’m kind of in love already. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Today, I was staying at a friend's, and I called my girlfriend in the morning to serenade her awake with a sweet song. My friend stared at me, then shook his head and said, "I suddenly understand why you got cheated on in the past." FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
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Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Did you just sleep with him out of pity? Still, lots of guys have this problem. And if he can't keep a girlfriend because of that, it's pretty petty.
real life problems 26
I dont understand how so many guys have this problem 😂 but hey, it could have been less than 3 minutes.
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Comments (16)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Let's play a game: Those of you who think that penetrative sex lasts longer than 5 minutes, give this comment a thumbs down. Those who think it lasts on average 3-5 minutes, give this a thumbs up. And those of you who think "Pfft, I can last for hours, for I am a sex God", you can take your own thumbs, and shove 'em where the sun don't shine. By the way, if this comment gets so many thumbs down that it ends up hidden, you and/or your partners are lying. Or you're a virgin, and you don't know any better.
Lalala579121 28
I have lasted 28 years without having sex, what's a few more hours?
hooahh3 3
Penatrive sex should definitely last more then 5 minuets. i’ve never used a stop watch but i know out of say an hours time from start to finish, way more then 5 minuets of that was inside of her. You can call BS all you want but ask my wife and she will say the same thing. And yes wife...marry a nympho and the sex will never end. lol
Mr_Mole 24
Poor kid. You ever thought he found you so hot he couldn’t contain himself? Give him a break.
tounces7 28
If that's his first time in a really long time, I mean, I can see why.
kotolokacja 6
Meh, as a girl, it depends HOW the 3 minutes were spent. Was it 3 minutes of him getting himself off and treating you like a sexdoll or was it 3 minutes of intense, rough sex ending in both being satisfied? Of course, from what you said he had to be the first case but I have the second kind. Like yeah, an hour of love making is fun but nothing makes the relationship some spice like a 3-minute quicky in the woods 😅
dasin 18
i can see how 3 minutes or less is lame but sex was never designed for longevity