Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I have a speech impediment and as much as I tried to keep it under control, it came out during the interview. I could tell the interviewers were trying to hold in their laughter. They ended the interview after 5 agonizing minutes, saying they’ll contact me. I left in tears. FML
Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML
Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML
Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML
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Top comments
InnocenceBlue 38
That's awful. Maybe you could sit them all down and tell them how you're really struggling with it and they're really not helping you overcome it? Also look into speech therapy. It works wonders and is worth the money. Best of luck OP.
LyricaSilvan 30
I know you're just trying to find the humor in this, but given the context of the FML, I think this just comes off as rubbing it in.
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Comments (32)
GhostFox 34
Yeah, because **** being decent humans, let alone a decent family! It's so much easier to be complete and total dickheads, then accuse the victim of being the problem in a few years when they hate everyone! Too bad authorities don't take emotional abuse seriously unless the situation gets really dire. At this point, I'd just stop ******* talking to them until they got pissy about not answering questions, then call them out on their behavior.
harleyivy 7
I know how that feels, you should talk to them and explain how inappropriate and hurtful they're being.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I think you mean "ex-family".
mcaisse77 17
I've had a lisp my entire life, but it's not really all that noticeable. Whenever I'm with my brother, he always points it out, so much that I can't say certain words in front of him. TL;DR I relate to OP
neverready 25
Try to explain to them, that they cause you stress and stress triggers impediments or makes them more noticable. If that doesn't work, learn ASL and never talk to them again.
Emmereen 29
Gotta love family. OP, I hope you have some really good friends who can be your new family if your relatives can't get their acts together.
bryanubaldo 4
I understand. I have a speech impediment too. freaking sucks.
dogpatch_fml 4
happens to me too
Lizzy500 16
Carry a pen and paper and refuse to speak if they won't stop doing this. Their behavior makes your speech worse, not better, because stress and nerves are a huge factor (I mean seriously, do they think you WANT to talk funny???) Also show them this post and tell them we all think they're a pack of twatwaffles.
qteabutt 12
I'm so sorry about that, I know how it feels to have a family full of pricks. You should prank them, like put hair dye in a shampoo, glitter bomb them, something like that.
Emmereen 29
Love the glitter bomb idea.