Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I have a speech impediment and as much as I tried to keep it under control, it came out during the interview. I could tell the interviewers were trying to hold in their laughter. They ended the interview after 5 agonizing minutes, saying they’ll contact me. I left in tears. FML
Today, I was told that a coworker of mine absolutely hates me. Why? Because sometimes I have a slight stutter, and he thinks I'm mocking his very apparent stutter. FML
Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML
Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
InnocenceBlue 38
That's awful. Maybe you could sit them all down and tell them how you're really struggling with it and they're really not helping you overcome it? Also look into speech therapy. It works wonders and is worth the money. Best of luck OP.
LyricaSilvan 30
I know you're just trying to find the humor in this, but given the context of the FML, I think this just comes off as rubbing it in.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
InnocenceBlue 38
That's awful. Maybe you could sit them all down and tell them how you're really struggling with it and they're really not helping you overcome it? Also look into speech therapy. It works wonders and is worth the money. Best of luck OP.
_Shake_n_Bake__ 11
You must be the star of the family. Your siblings must put you down just so that they can feel like they are better in some way when in reality you will always be the better man
RichardPencil 32
That thuckth! Thorry your family is thuch a bunch of athholes!
LyricaSilvan 30
I know you're just trying to find the humor in this, but given the context of the FML, I think this just comes off as rubbing it in.
cuz803 46
Pun failed
tigeresscrazy 12
So sorry your family is being mean I hope you can work things out with them
hun3y206 23
What assholes. You should put pickles and tuna fish under their beds to get back at them. That's what I did to my sisters when they made fun of me...
makerofhumans 7
I love this.
Yourheadache 19
sounds like you need a new family ?
mariri9206 32
Your family sucks. Time to make voodoo dolls of them out of spoons and put the voodoo dolls in the pickle jar because they were mean to you. ;)
jay_south 19
And in a little while, they're going to ask why you're always so quiet. :-/
cuz803 46
You may want to talk to them using sign language
maximillion99 2
I used to have a really bad lisp when I was younger and I was in speech therapy for years. What really helped was going to a speech pathologist. I still have my lisp but it isn't as severe as it was and people don't notice it as often (unless I'm upset and start speaking fast). Good luck OP I'm sorry your family does that to you :(