Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML
Today, I bought a new electric razor. I tried it, and washed it. I started to shake it in order to get rid of the water. It was pretty slippery, and it exploded onto the floor of my bathroom. The warranty doesn't cover this, I guess. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML
Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML
Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
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Top comments
wvcheesehead 13
Ask your mother for birth control also please, for the sake of the planet.
mmazzaa 16
The times that you wasted ..... Could of went to your garden and grow so much potato and carrots
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Comments (54)
havahnegila 22
I'm surprised your mom didn't walk you through how to shave, such as how to hold the razor, the angle you should shave at, not to shave against the grain of the hairs, etc. you should ask her for a more thorough walk through for your own safety.
lulinator 40
Most parents think it's an innate skill, since they've been doing it so long. I was never shown how, or even what areas when I started. I got in trouble for shaving my arms, lol.
wanted_2_want 40
You definitely need reading glasses... And a little more common sense Just sayin'
rocker_chick23 27
How stupid are you, OP? Anyone with half a brain could have felt there was a hard plastic thing over the blades.
i_lik_tomaters 21
I actually loled at this
chrishaaansen 13
you sir are an idiot!
False_Stupidity 42
Your comment is a fail.
vikky538 29
first time use OP..you are exempted from embarrassment...
Twisted_Angel 17
um... it's a razor... they come with protective caps on them. How did you not know this? Even if it was your first time shaving, common sense should have come into play here.
badgercheese94 16
This reminds of the time I went ice skating with the skates I got for Christmas, and noticed I had trouble on the ice and was like "wtf is going on" until I noticed that I forgot to take the plastic covering from the left skate's blade
sarcasticking141 3
Wow I don't want to live on this planet anymore people really need to think things through.
kglo 7
Oh honey...