Love: Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't... - FML

By Iamlonesometonight - 26/03/2017 18:47

Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't leave, as all my things were at his house, where I was meant to be staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 228

You deserved it 311

Hiding from the drama

Empathy lives

Give it your best shot

By torturedears - 05/04/2013 04:20 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 291

You deserved it 6 642

By kam3221 - 01/05/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 849

You deserved it 54 184

By RejectRaven - 29/12/2018 04:00

Today, my two year old got out of her crib while I was sleeping and destroyed $700 worth of my makeup from Sephora. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 570

You deserved it 1 517

She goes to a different school

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 07:58

Spicy

Today, while on vacation, I lost my virginity to this really cute girl from Canada. I texted my older cousin to brag about it, to which he replied, “A girl from Canada? That’s the oldest cliché lie in the book.” I didn’t know it was cliché. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 217

No thanks

By Pinsky - 13/10/2021 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I found out from my best friend’s text log that my friend group has been discussing doing swinger stuff, and they deliberately excluded my wife and I. When pressed, my former best friend said no one wanted to see us naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 572

By cathugger - 16/08/2019 16:00

Today, I decided to confess my feelings and perform a love song I'd written for my crush during an open mic night. He was there - he also took the opportunity to declare his love to his on-off girlfriend, get down on one knee and propose to her. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 479

By hungry hungry harvey - 08/05/2016 16:56 - United States

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 574

You deserved it 2 508

By damnthedog - 19/01/2013 07:40 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 230

You deserved it 7 340

Too much feeling!

By buckerooo - 03/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 476

By Tara115 - 09/02/2014 07:20 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 021

You deserved it 7 558

By lynn - 22/06/2012 16:14 - Australia - Bongaree

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 238

You deserved it 2 084

By gonesofast - 09/10/2014 17:53 - United States - Quincy

Today, as I was about to leave home for my first sweet taste of freedom at my new apartment, my car died. I'm stuck here for at least the weekend and can look forward to my mom driving me to work. Freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 143

You deserved it 2 897

Pissed

By CatDad - 18/12/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 741

By notabeliever - 29/07/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 693

You deserved it 7 194

By lonely - 11/01/2016 21:04 - United States - Twin Falls

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Whilst browsing the web, I clicked on an ad that said "How to Get Your Ex Back in a Day". Now I am single and have a computer virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 240

You deserved it 22 503

By fmlsomuch - 25/02/2012 20:51 - Japan

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 140

You deserved it 3 355

Meme wars

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 22:57

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me via a meme. What the fuck? With a friend of mine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 98

By Grrrawrwtf - 03/06/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 2 444

By hugs511 - 25/07/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 516

You deserved it 3 139

By WIIslave - 14/12/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 901

You deserved it 28 952

By Beeh - 24/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 814

You deserved it 3 396

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Spicy

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 023

You deserved it 5 845

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 636

You deserved it 655

By insomniacap - 30/12/2014 23:47 - United States - Stratford

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 537

You deserved it 4 948

By Joe - 27/08/2012 13:33 - United States - Coalgate

Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 197

You deserved it 5 720

By spekledworf - 05/08/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 089

You deserved it 10 109

By Veronica - 21/11/2014 20:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 330

You deserved it 4 771

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 00:24 - United States - Boise

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 312

You deserved it 38 413

By fullmoonfml - 12/08/2010 23:05 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 157

You deserved it 57 597

By areyouserial - 05/12/2011 13:21 - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 187

You deserved it 3 011

By scared and alone - 13/03/2015 18:47 - United Kingdom - Preston

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 341

You deserved it 2 901

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 703

You deserved it 2 696

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 671

You deserved it 1 169

By peoplesuck - 14/05/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 014

You deserved it 15 505

By sociallyawkward - 26/03/2014 18:06 - United Kingdom - Egham

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 368

You deserved it 8 261

By violetbcracecar - 14/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Suisun City

Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 540

You deserved it 929

Online life

By Anonymous - 24/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 2 316

By anonymous - 14/12/2010 11:52 - United States

Today, I went to feed my neighbor's cat while he was out of town. The cat was sick, so part of my job was to give it a pill each time I came. Cats don't like swallowing pills. My neighbor forgot to mention that his cat wasn't declawed. I was wearing shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 388

You deserved it 6 201

By Anonymous - 07/02/2013 06:20 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 373

You deserved it 18 133

By steppppphhhhhh - 09/04/2013 08:18 - United States - Pacifica

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 771

You deserved it 3 474

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

HylianWarrior 21

Send a private message

Sunday 26 March 2017 19:06

I don't understand why anyone would do something like this. If you are breaking up with someone, it likely isn't or at least shouldn't be a spur of the moment decision, so any decent human being should have the decency to find a kind way to do so, without causing unnecessary drama.

Send a private message

Sunday 26 March 2017 23:18

In all fairness, she didn't state the reason why she got dumped. For example, if I was in a party and my significant other was under the influence and happened to get it on with another dude, I'd certainly dump her right then and there.

Comments

HylianWarrior 21

Send a private message

Sunday 26 March 2017 19:06

I don't understand why anyone would do something like this. If you are breaking up with someone, it likely isn't or at least shouldn't be a spur of the moment decision, so any decent human being should have the decency to find a kind way to do so, without causing unnecessary drama.

Send a private message

Sunday 26 March 2017 23:18

In all fairness, she didn't state the reason why she got dumped. For example, if I was in a party and my significant other was under the influence and happened to get it on with another dude, I'd certainly dump her right then and there.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Sunday 26 March 2017 19:07

I hope you mean EX-boyfriend! Oh, wait, you do. Couldn't you have spent the night at a hotel, and collect your stuff the next day?

Send a private message

Sunday 26 March 2017 20:17

Here's what you do; ask for his keys, get your stuff from his house, then toss his house key away after you lock the doors.

kimise 21

Send a private message

Monday 27 March 2017 0:41

So? Go to his place, pick your shit up and leave like a big girl. Get on a taxi or go to a motel. Respect yourself! It's important!

Send a private message

Wednesday 29 March 2017 11:27

I'm wondering if OP means the house party was at the now-ex's house and they physically couldn't get their stuff out of the house because of all the guests and they didn't have anywhere they could stay and no money for a hotel room. Because, y'know, not everyone has a couple hundred dollars hanging around.

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 16

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 091

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 1 244