Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 25
Did your employee call you out on your bullshit excuse under the grounds that women don't poop?
YouGotTold 0
ydi for having another guys name in in your phone and not having something to differentiate between the two... dc
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Comments (186)
jgilez 0
agreed
britterss 0
she probably thought her husband was calling her to tell her about the massive shit he took at work and she wanted to beat him to the punch....too bad it wasn't her husband on the phone
aardvarkish 16
If I were married, the wife's ID would be "Uh-Oh!"
RokstaRx88 0
better yet the death of man cuz that's what marriage is. a time when the man starts to die and the woman starts to blossom. women are blood sucking vampires and marriage is just a trap to catch prey. yea the gay sparkly kind from twillight
theanonimouse 0
Yeah, you better watch out... I might getcha! I vant to suck your blooood!
snickerpuss 9
Yeah, it's very important to feel comfortable in your relationship but come on... "I really have to poop !" "Ok, i'm getting the roll of toilet paper ready for you !"
deannamarie12 0
Lol #112 True you do have to be comfortable, but telling your husband "I have to poop" is a little well... Awkward..
britterss 0
well that would be very nice of him....croasing the line would be volunteering to wipe, assuming she is capable of doing so herself.
britterss 0
****crossing damn iPhone
deannamarie12 0
YDI for wanting to tell your husband you want to poop lol :P and cause If they have same name, you should've checked first.
tacooooo 0
hahaha you totally deserved that one!!! and atleast say crap or something like that?? poop just sounds gay
RokstaRx88 0
ydi are you even human? my dog greets me in the same manner when I get home.
GrammarFailure 0
YDI for not answering the phone normally.