Love, Parenting and Students: Desperate nan

Desperate nan

By Anonymous - 10/05/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly, "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 363

You deserved it 3 566

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Same thing different taste

Awkwaaaaard

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 711

You deserved it 2 707

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 07:45 - United States - Hatfield

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 453

You deserved it 3 381

By CollegeGrad - 25/04/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 767

You deserved it 16 926

Thanks ma

By 1940s wants their attitude back - 29/09/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 210

Serial killer vibes

By Anonymous - 18/06/2021 22:01

Today, when my son told me he wanted to work with animals, I thought he meant a vet, turns out his actual career goal was to be the guy who puts the strays to sleep at the animal control centre. He got that job and I’ve never seen him happier. What monster have I raised? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 182

By MickeyDManager - 03/08/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, I found out that the girl I tutored in high school in basic ENGLISH just received her PhD in Biophysics. I am now the manager of a McDonald's. I was also the Valedictorian of our graduating class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 674

You deserved it 39 193

By stillwaiting - 09/03/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 501

You deserved it 3 149

Uh oh

By EvilMother - 14/09/2012 00:57 - United States - Hinsdale

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 059

You deserved it 5 241

Grammie!

By luciazee - 06/06/2013 20:51 - Peru - Lima

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 053

You deserved it 3 331

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 172

emer_helena 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:23

You will meet girls! All the cool 6 year olds go to the petting zoo :)

Indiana_fml 4

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:34

So you are supposed to hook up with single moms so that she can have instant-grandchildren...

Comments

Rain_fml 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:12

You need to get out more

Philosophic 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 21:31

You and me ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on the discovery channel.

americuzz 8

Thursday 22 July 2010 4:54

op take the job and impress a hot blonde chick who loves animals. just like in tv... p wait nevermind 

StalkerX 4

Monday 25 November 2013 4:31

89- We can do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files.

hahayou12345 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:13

HAHAHH woah dude FYL. You need a social life!

666midnight 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:15

Haha, that sucks, at least you have a job though =P

stonerchu 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:16

You mom is awesome

24788 6

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:18

I know how that goes. My sister has two kids. My mom is always trying to get me to go out more and meet women.

emer_helena 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:23

You will meet girls! All the cool 6 year olds go to the petting zoo :)

ringasendi 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:27

How is this even a FML? who cares what your mom thinks of your social life?

666midnight 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:29

lmao @ #6 XD

JonReb 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:31

A petting zoo.. so your mom is suggesting you'd only have a chance with little girls? -FYL!

Indiana_fml 4

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:34

So you are supposed to hook up with single moms so that she can have instant-grandchildren...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 84

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 125

You deserved it 28 929

Today, while working as a waitress, an attractive woman sat at one of my tables. When she paid, I decided to be bold and write my number and "Call me" on her receipt. She put in a complaint to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 3 566

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 127

You deserved it 64 392

Today, my friends and I had planned to meet up. One of the friends, Mike, decided to pick me up on the way. Mike called first to let me know, and his kids overheard us and I heard them ask him where he was going. Mike jokingly replied, "To pick up my ugly friend." His kids ask if it was [my name]? We laughed, but damn… FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 128

Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 122

Today, everyone has been advised to stay home and self-quarantine due to the COVID19 outbreak. This would've been great and all, especially since I'm pregnant and need the bed rest, but I work as a doctor and we're understaffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 194