Miscellaneous: Date night

Date night

By Anonymous - 30/04/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 163

You deserved it 7 997

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I'll have the Catfish

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 141

By perfectlybrokenx - 24/08/2010 04:21 - Canada

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 800

You deserved it 52 222

Devious

By savvylady - 18/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 666

You deserved it 6 735

By anonymous - 19/11/2016 18:35 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 414

You deserved it 1 526

By jimmy_poison - 09/02/2015 00:19 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 2 942

Is this a joke?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 755

You deserved it 3 897

Awkward

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 02:01

Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 1 377

By aireeahna - 20/05/2016 06:04 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex-girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 149

You deserved it 1 102

By Noname - 15/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 353

You deserved it 5 633

That one annoying friend

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 01:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I went to an old boyfriend's birthday party. An annoying friend suggested that we should try dating again. We were both with our new partners, who were standing nearby when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 161

forestqueenie 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 15:37

what an ahole! I bet you're gorgeous! don't mind what he says...

demonxshadow 1

Saturday 30 April 2011 16:10

well then you must be one big dick.

Comments

darkmis1 17

Saturday 30 April 2011 20:28

You should've gotten rid of that freshman 15....not kept gaining.

perdix 29

Saturday 30 April 2011 21:22

And the sophomore 20, the junior 15 and the senior 30. And the grad school 50 And 30 for each baby. He was just trying to slam enough alcohol so the beer googles could bring you into the fuckable range.

zuzupetalsYO 11

Sunday 1 May 2011 5:00

rude.

nny138 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 21:51

heh heh heh..... so in this case, does OP mean Obese Pig??

shelbyjoa2011 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 22:02

what a dick

lexi365 20

Saturday 30 April 2011 22:26

Somehow this reminds me of a Tucker Max story. (look him up if you don't know who he is)

AReyes387 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 2:50

Lmao

banana826 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 2:57

dang! he is a jerk! even if he was drunk he shouldnt have said that!

HeavyMetalViking 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 3:25

'Can you believe I used to love his 2 inch wiener?' would be a good comeback.

abeye111 8

Sunday 1 May 2011 14:00

AHAHAH!!

richard121212 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:14

that's when YOU call him a fat ass,

Dontstealmyname 11

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:23

Your beautiful in your own way gurl! I guess it's a FHL for being a shallow idiot who only cares about what's on the outside and not what's on the inside. Well OP, thank god he's your ex. He's not worth your time.

missymoo123 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 4:35

if I were op I would have said "****, can you believe I even let this alcoholics dick near me?...suppose that's what I get when I feel sorry for jerks and lower my standards to such extremes" then I would chug the rest of my drink give a big smile and say "it was great catching up, I'll be watching the obituaries, ciao"