Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
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Top comments
xobeachbabe 0
Be careful what you wish for!
Amysbodybetrayal 0
Wow, that's what I call an obedient dog. Are you sure it wasn't playing dead?
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Comments (195)
F00l 1
You get an A+ for being a bitch! yaaaayyyyyy
Benben47 0
So I'm guessing you're a cat person?
anonymous353_fml 0
i hope this is not true. if it is true, you're a ******* bitch.
I_iz_epic 0
Quit whining and laugh at the irony :D
jules_gd 2
oh, the irony..
somename1223132 5
Wtf i hope you mew pet pisses in yoi eye
bene119 0
First
jerilynski 9
i've never heard of someone saying something like that to a dog. do you say things to your friends like that? that poor dog ):
Tequila_Hilton 3
not ur fault...u accidently dropped cheese, u bent down to get it. greedy dog hurried to get it and ran so that u cuudnt grab it. who's fault really is it?
BryiwiththeWHY 0
karma is a bitch ain't it.
rollingbandit 1
I'm sorry about your dog, and I bet half you people say worst stuff than that.