Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
Today, stressed to the point of breakdown over my impending daughter's birth, I went to a small church. After a long talk with the pastor, I finally began to feel some calm and peace. Too bad my wife flipped out, accused me of wanting to make her a "handmaid" and made me sleep on the couch. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, my fiancé told a priest on the bus to fuck off, because he was annoying her with all his God talk. She didn’t know the priest had been our family's priest for the past 40 years, the guy we were supposed to talk to about our wedding next year. Guess that’s not happening now. FML
Today, my stepmom aired her opinions on how marriage and children are just shackles placed on women by men to keep them miserable, downtrodden, under control, and borderline suicidal. She made this speech during my wedding reception. Oh and I’m 4 months pregnant as well. FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML
Today, my dad got married to a woman who's an atheist and makes fun of me for being a devout Christian. FML
Today, my coworker was talking about how he fixed his broken marriage and how his wife adores him. I asked for his advice, since mine has been rough. He started talking about God and Christianity and how religion showed him the path. Uhh... nope, I think I'll stick with things the way they are. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JustForRetorts 13
I wonder it he's the kind that prefers little boys...?
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
He's probably been single for too long..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
chosha_fml 27
Woman are just fine. It's those freaky priests we have to be careful of.
Bossgirlhana 15
Just remember: Man came before woman, but only because there is always a rough draft before the final design.
Fatfairygoth 11
We're a better by-product than Marmite ;)
False_Stupidity 42
I don't know if i'd go that far... Marmite is pretty awesome.
gemstone586 12
this teaching comes from a man named William Branham, who was an evangelist back in the 50s. there's a cult that believes he was a prophet. I escaped this cult. You think your life's bad..... fml
worldclassrager 41
I think that priest should try a different job
lifa 16
My bet is he was drunk. No excuses for him but 10-1 drunk
xSapphireCloudx 4
I'd say FYL, but I think the bride and groom got the worst end of that. That would've ruined their wedding. Unless of course they told him or allowed him prior to say that in which case...WTF?
gemstone586 12
see my comment #53... this very well could've been planned. That's the worst part. :/