Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, and every other day this week, I brought carrots and celery into work to eat as a snack instead of chocolate. I got back from lunch to find a note on my desk saying, "Do you really think it's OK to eat carrots and celery that loudly every day?" Guess I won't try to be healthy. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML
Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML
Today, I’m trying to be healthy. My friends suggested I keep junk food out of the house so I don’t crave it. Yeah, that didn’t work. My car wouldn’t start so I actually made the four-mile walk to the nearest grocery store to get junk food. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
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Top comments
xivoricbutterfly 25
No shame in loving chocolate. Camly grab it and run away.
Greenteamextreme 16
To hell with the carrots!
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Comments (79)
Cadillac4427 8
"Hungry? Grab a Snickers"....no one ? Really ? Too soon. ...
sdroze1389 31
thought about it but it seemed to expected, we have a whole three future pages of comments for people to repost that while simultaneously having ethical arguments on body image and ethics lol
aire101 16
Hate to break it to you, but exercise is even more important when you're diabetic or have other insulin related issues.
aire101 16
I don't really think it's a YDI or really an YLS... but if i could thumb up an FML I would this one.
icepick23 12
Stop dieting. Just exercise.
colton_colton 50
You're not you when you're hungry
moosetracks22 10
Hey OP, have you tried checking out apps like loseit or myfitnesspal? I have been using myfitnesspal since May and it has helped me lose almost 30lbs. The best part is you can eat whatever you want as long as it's in your daily budget. So if you really wanted that snickers bar you could've had it as long as you made it fit into your daily calories.
Keltiel 8
You can't think of dieting as a list of foods you can eat and a list of foods you can't. You want a snickers? Get a fun-size and enjoy it as slowly as possible if you have a habit of eating the entire bar. This applies to any kind of junk food: if you enjoy it in moderation, it's perfectly fine. Going on a diet isn't something you do for a few months and then drop. If you're hoping to lose weight, and keep that weight off, you need to change your eating habits for life and learn that it's perfectly okay to indulge your cravings every once in a while.
Comoke1024 19
I think it would have been a bigger FML if he inched closer...
whatx2 10
I
sanecatlady 13
Diets don't work. You can only fight the temptation to not eat "forbidden" foods at all for so long and then the next thing you know you wolf down a whole bag of cookies. Everything in moderation.