Intimacy, Covid and Lockdown: Covidiots just wanna have fun

Covidiots just wanna have fun

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59

Today, I've been in lockdown for so long, I got turned on by washing carrots. FML

agreeclassic 937

vote type 1 236

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Lockdown boredom

By Anonymous - 20/12/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, thanks to 10 months of lockdown, the most intimate thing I have done on a Saturday night during this time is use a hobby knife to cut 1/4" thick calluses off my feet. I don't even walk anywhere. FML

agreeclassic 733

vote type 1 195

Gordon says you SUCK

By James - 01/04/2020 17:00

Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

agreeclassic 742

vote type 1 1 341

That Monday feeling

By Ed. - 20/07/2020 05:01

Today, I have to go into work for the first time since the Covid-19 lockdown. I've been working from home since March. Today was also the first time since going on lockdown that I cut myself shaving. FML

agreeclassic 1 250

vote type 1 231

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

agreeclassic 23 815

vote type 1 44 348

Send help!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

agreeclassic 1 549

vote type 1 390

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

agreeclassic 36 370

vote type 1 4 660

Accomplished

By Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

agreeclassic 221

vote type 1 191

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

agreeclassic 63 132

vote type 1 10 961

By HBCruiser - 14/07/2019 02:30

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

agreeclassic 1 516

vote type 1 176

Partaaaaaaaay !

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, being unemployed and under lockdown, my idea of a party is driving to the dentist and turning the sound system up in my car. FML

agreeclassic 789

vote type 1 138

hdisnfjs91 21

Sunday 29 August 2021 17:26

Do you live in Australia by any chance.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 29 August 2021 7:22

Food and nourishment are always aphrodisiacs, pandemic or not

Comments

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 29 August 2021 7:22

Food and nourishment are always aphrodisiacs, pandemic or not

hdisnfjs91 21

Sunday 29 August 2021 17:26

Do you live in Australia by any chance.

xaonng 5

Monday 30 August 2021 16:41

get a cucumber and make a salad I guess...bigger than most dudes anyways

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Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML

agreeclassic 4 140

vote type 1 297

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some fun at around 3:00 am and during our fun I flipped her over quite roughly and, as she landed on the bed, I'd accidentally dislocated her shoulder. For the next 2 hours we didn’t know whether to call an ambulance or her sister, so we had to put it back in place ourselves. FML

agreeclassic 195

vote type 1 396

Today, I fractured two ribs from coughing. My doctor told me to stop coughing, or I would fracture them more. I have bronchitis. FML

agreeclassic 21 250

vote type 1 1 267

Today, a friend of mine has stopped brushing his teeth, because, "animals don’t brush their teeth either." You know what else animals don’t do? Smoke a pack of Marlboros a day. FML

agreeclassic 1 073

vote type 1 98

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

agreeclassic 30 773

vote type 1 4 839

Today, a customer came in without a mask, and called us "liberal sheep" for wearing one. She then coughed on me when I kindly asked her to leave. She told me, "Oh well, if you didn’t wanna get coughed on, you should have stayed home with your silly sheep mask." FML

agreeclassic 1 467

vote type 1 312