Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, our company hit our sales goals, an all-time high since before the pandemic. Our reward after working so hard all year long? A goodie bag with a keychain with the company logo on them. When I suggested a bonus, my boss said, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” FML
Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML
Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, after three years of working at my current occupation, they decided to give me a bonus for all of my hard work and effort. A 5$ gift card to Cold Stone. FML
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML
Today, after 3 years of hard work, very little vacation and no raises, our boss got us a crappy box of drug store cookies as an employee appreciation gift. Which he ended up eating. FML
Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML
Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML
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Top comments
Jellysweetheart 23
Then you should report him. He didn't do what his job requires him to do.
bethrh 49
Your boss sounds like a real-life Mr Krabs.
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Comments (54)
YeaSo3 14
Yeah if they have that "sales record breaking incentive policy" up to date and in writing they are more than likely contractually obligated to follow through... check with HR...hope everything works out 4 You OP Get Yo Money :-)
jelrid 30
At least you're "#1"
Fas4wd 13
That motherf**ker Don't stand for it.
CaptainRR 20
Is your boss Mr.Krabs?
chosha_fml 27
Send an anonymous letter to his boss asking if someone could explain the word 'bonus' to him.
GirasolNegro 22
Could it be that the Sales Record bonus is being added to your Christmas bonus, and you will just receive 1 big bonus instead of 2 smaller ones?
asylumlane 23
Then companies wonder why employees have zero motivation.
Tannasgh 22
Time to find a job with a company that values their employees
quarterbird 18
That's a dick move. Report him to corporate. If you don't want to be "that person", have someone else do it. Hell... Send me the details and I'll do it. I hate asshole managers who screw productive employees.
mollymoe429 21
Mr. Krabs, is that you?