Today, while jetlagged and going through customs in Singapore, I grabbed what I thought was a pen to fill out the form. I heard it squeak as I lifted it up. It was a straw in the custom agent's drink. The resulting noise he made lasted 10+ seconds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was at a restaurant, my drink had a straw that made a very obnoxious sound whenever I drank from it. Everyone near me was giving disapproving looks. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but they weren't buying it. Even after I got a new straw that didn't make an annoying sound, they still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML
Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML
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Top comments
bloopaloop 27
That's pretty funny. You know he's telling friends about that "really jet lagged person" he met toddy
ihatecondoms 12
you comment to much, guess you ran out of ideas, maybe not be a prick?
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
That "noise" is him telling you that you're going to prison and you will be sodomized continuously there.
ihatecondoms 12
you comment to much, guess you ran out of ideas, maybe not be a prick?
bloopaloop 27
That's pretty funny. You know he's telling friends about that "really jet lagged person" he met toddy