Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML
Today, I'm lying in a hospital bed with two broken leg bones, a reattached tendon, and four screws holding my leg together. Why? Because I wanted chocolate milk and some asshat didn't see me walking across the road. FML
Today, I was walking to my mailbox when I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said, "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9 a.m.?" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I'm still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML
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Top comments
kiran_fml 5
What a horrible mother.
zingline89 18
Roll home?
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Comments (206)
jujubunni5 9
Push her down the stairs and break her foot and see how she likes it
enopola 5
Then punch her in the vag, kick her in the head, and be like "this was for your own good."
horneyhic 15
"accidentally" put the crutch on her foot then ull get away with it
zingline89 18
Roll home?
Gogetajh 3
you ppl r awful 4 thumming ths up
saradestery 5
Lolol
Missy2612 11
cruel love hurts... that would suck!
perdix 31
If you hadn't put so much stress on your foot with your massive girth, your bones wouldn't have shattered like potato chips. The trek home won't kill you. You know what they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." (A line that Nietzsche lifted from Kelly Clarkson.) Plus, you'll build up your armpit calluses. ;)
Valdrek 26
Well said my man.
Pinkfl0yd 9
Imma build up my armpit muscles. Bitches love armpit muscles.
A7xLover_ 6
Sounds like my mom-_-
zeldagirl77 7
i love you and your name and your picture :D
Yung23 0
Lmfao
starwind3438 9
Your mom is an inconsiderate bitch.
JazzHandsFML 28
I hope soon she's An unconscious one...
yerevan_fml 3
Your mom is mean!! In the future when she needs your help you should remind this day to her. Sorry OP.
GothicAngel17 24
I'm sorry, I'm normally not a grammar nazi but this is bloody killing me. *you should remind her of this day.
DocBastard 40
I don't mean to be podantic, but your mother sounds like a real heel. I wouldn't bother to toe the line here - arch your eyebrows and ball your eyes out. Tears may just be her Achilles heel, you may get a leg up and she might just apologise. Good luck.
Valdrek 26
Man...and you criticized MY comment! You barely have a leg to stand on doc c:
Awsumuzzie 12
Well, unlike you, he's not actually serious and he's funny. This was written for puns, so don't compare your comments.
Valdrek 26
And why shouldn't I compare comments if I want to? Because you told me not to? Because your too thick to get the pun aimed humor in my comment? Or maybe it's because of your stuck up attitude on a site aimed at humor. Either way, please stop replying to my comments, your a buzz kill and just come off as plain snotty and childish.
Awsumuzzie 12
Well, technically, I replied to Doc's comment but aimed it at you, so calm your penis. Also, you're not comparing this comment to his, you're comparing your first, hilariously negative, comment to his. I saw your pun here, but you used it in the wrong manner, by attacking, like the idiot that you seem to portray very well.
Awsumuzzie 12
And you're right, compare your comments, no one can stop you, but the FML team. I was stating my opinion, and how you say... If you don't like it, don't read it. If you want to read it, cry more somewhere else. (sorry, I reworded it). Just carry on, troll, I'm done commenting, my stuck up attitude needs attending elsewhere. Bye! ;)
Valdrek 26
Oh no, you hurt my little girl feelings X(. My god I feel like some of you people live to whinge. Don't get me wrong, I'm not this much of an arsehole in real life, but I feel like people here are pushing me into being one. Just remove the stick from your arse and admit that living in America makes you American
HolyPotato 9
Well, you must be new to FML. Everyone knows not to **** with Doc.
friisen_ 0
If you are obese YDI. If you're not FYL.
tklone329 0
I guess theres too many ines ppl :D