Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
instrumentals 0
holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.
dantheman931 0
YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (310)
ohhhhshizzz 0
#19: ROFL, I had to read it twice to figure out what you were talking about thoughXD #32: Why would a parent flip out if the OP is just masturbating dude it is freaking natural. Just a little embarrassing when walked in on. Lmao, lock your door. Alwayss, me and my mom always knock beforing entering a closed door. Besides, I'd be sick for days if I walked in on my mom masturbating, I heard her having phone sex one night. Ughhh, I had to turn on screamo to get away from it!
Tehalon 0
#43, Sometimes fantasies are way better then ****.
weatherluvr 0
bahahahaha "sucks" for you. and i find it easier to think of ******* guys you know...it makes it more funnn ;)
FMLfan457 0
Last night, "What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape." MDTxt http://mydrunktxt.com/
DamnAshleyyy 0
haha stepdad ftw
Antonio718 0
Dumbass "Today I was in my bedroom when i heard my step son making grunting noises, I started walking his room when i saw his door open. I was sure that he wasn't masturbating with the door open because that would be retarded, but non the less I walked in and saw him jacking off, and he was still jacking off even with me in the room FML"
rightonlooser 0
OP is a girl. you are the dumbass here
angela44 0
It's a girl..
liinkinparkfan97 34
OP is a girl, dumbass.
lolbitch 0
next time, close the door, and wear your glasses. You have a very creepy step dad that would stare at you and not tell you for a while. And did you seriously keep doing it while he was staring at you? Cause WOW!!
rightonlooser 0
u r
xteeny 0
awkward/creepy.
rightonlooser 0
1/Op didnt keep going 2 / stepdad thought she was texting
montrialle 0
LOL ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's sucks.
montrialle 0
what did he want though? xD