rightonlooser

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Rightonlooser's favorite FMLs

Got em

By stinker - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I reassured her that I would not throw a party. She replied, "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that?" FML

agreeclassic 48 084

vote type 1 4 479

By soupduped - 06/12/2009 03:37 - United States

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

agreeclassic 16 849

vote type 1 38 381

Weird

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 09:19 - United States

Today, I met a close friend of my husband's for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage, and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

agreeclassic 36 541

vote type 1 2 624

Retail sucks

By kilo1_13 - 04/06/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML

agreeclassic 53 082

vote type 1 2 527

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

agreeclassic 131 739

vote type 1 7 583