Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
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Top comments
inner_peace 19
Loose lips sink ships, OP.
Cameron257 14
That's a good way to get fired.
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Comments (96)
hulopro 16
How do you not deserve this? People need to have self control before they say things.
ukeandfoodislife 19
He probably didn't really think before he said it... I'm pretty sure everyone has done this. OP just had an unfortunate outcome
BSnapZ 21
#29 that's why #11 said people need to have self control... so that they DO think before they speak.
MandyMeow_fml 18
Hopefully your boss isn't as spiteful as cats can be...
Enslaved 36
"Think - before you speak Or suffer, for your words"
Moonlightring 14
Hope you don't get fired beclaws of that ruff moment...
PotatoPal 11
Your puns are purrty furnny, 14.
Moonlightring 14
Thank you c: That's pawful nice of you to say.
cailey1234567890 24
Aww Diarrhea of the mouth I am very familiar with this condition. It is less commonly known as "no filteritis"
rilo29 3
You let the cat out of the bag!
mysadlyfe 9
He should have pawed at ur face
dutchy86 20
haha... I am sure he's going to promote you for you're perfect analysis and bright view on the organization ;)
subhaan786 19
Hopefully he found a funny side to it! Otherwise you may have cost yourself your job Unlucky OP
imjanty 10
Since you're posting this here, I guess he didn't fire you. Careful OP !
ihavenolifehaha 16
What makes you say that?
Brandi_Faith 33
40, If the OP got fired for this I imagine it would've been apart of the FML.