Love, Sex, Horny, Awkward and Sexting: Blackout

Blackout

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 06:00

Today, after sexting with my wife for the whole day, I came home to a dark house due to a blackout. Being horny, I went in and started humping her from the back. She screamed. It was my mom who came to supply candles during the blackout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 2 462

Love Sex Horny Awkward Sexting

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 20:32

Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 540

You deserved it 1 717

Wifey

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 02:55 - United States - Covington

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 930

You deserved it 2 533

By itsgonnabealongnight... - 03/09/2011 20:52 - United States

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 364

You deserved it 3 042

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was pantsless, horny, and my vibrator died, so I put it on charge next to my bed. My mum then came in, crying hysterically about how she got fired. I was still naked. I felt so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 254

By BurnedDown - 28/10/2014 20:45 - United Kingdom - Bridlington

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 479

You deserved it 7 795

Quiet down!

By grooveshark - 30/09/2020 20:01

Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 123

Keep your wits about you

By Rawr - 30/12/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 367

You deserved it 11 626

By sandy - 17/03/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 90 682

By OhDeary - 01/08/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 337

You deserved it 9 706

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 310

You deserved it 7 912

AzraelAngelus 15

Saturday 5 November 2022 6:20

Dude never just hump whatever is in the house

Brightside86 29

Saturday 5 November 2022 8:57

This is legendary nightmare fuel, real?

Comments

AzraelAngelus 15

Saturday 5 November 2022 6:20

Dude never just hump whatever is in the house

Brightside86 29

Saturday 5 November 2022 8:57

This is legendary nightmare fuel, real?

mcarland 3

Sunday 6 November 2022 0:34

I feel this deserves both you deserved it, for coming in hot, and your life sucks, obviously.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 6 November 2022 0:40

You dozy ************...

Keywords

Nice Guys Creepypasta Weird Love LGBTQIA+ Religion Work Awkward Painful Food Health Transportation Intimacy Sex Politics Death Coworkers Mental health Technology Cars Parents Social Media Gamers Video games Poopoo peepee Kids Animals Cats Bosses Snow

The Top

Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room when a message popped up that said, ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 842

You deserved it 4 447

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 276

You deserved it 8 552

The Top

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 689

You deserved it 4 739

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 673

You deserved it 64 617

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 208

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 456

You deserved it 5 974

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 264

You deserved it 2 917

Today, I had to skip lunch to work on a big project, so I stopped by a vending machine. The number I wanted was 126, but I accidentally typed 124, using my last dollar. 124 was the only empty row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 420

You deserved it 5 530