Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and my butt stuck to the seat a little bit, so when I got up, the seat unstuck itself and came down loudly. The girl who was also in the bathroom went running out, saying that I pee with the seat up because I have balls. I spent a while trying to convince other kids that I really was a girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Young children know how to use a toilet without peeing all over the place with a little practice.
d j mom 9
why would you put your pennis there to begin with. that doesn't just happen. also if you're sitting on the toilet and your thing can reach that far, it isn't small..wtf. you're stupid.
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Comments (2)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Young children know how to use a toilet without peeing all over the place with a little practice.
d j mom 9
why would you put your pennis there to begin with. that doesn't just happen. also if you're sitting on the toilet and your thing can reach that far, it isn't small..wtf. you're stupid.