Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Beautifully said

Beautifully said

By Kilamo - 25/01/2020 14:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear, "Would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me?" with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 066

You deserved it 421

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Same thing different taste

By ohmaigawd - 14/09/2011 16:59 - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 605

You deserved it 6 968

By Username - 20/07/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 404

You deserved it 8 527

By Cococautly - 04/07/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 801

You deserved it 13 905

Spoiled the mood

By DFR - 09/06/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 900

You deserved it 23 839

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 061

You deserved it 1 908

By snoozerlooser - 25/12/2010 00:00 - Canada

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 497

You deserved it 7 802

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 06:29 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 708

You deserved it 3 935

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 8 370

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 494

You deserved it 3 874

yourwifelovesme 25

Saturday 25 January 2020 20:02

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

Ashamed_Sister 60

Sunday 26 January 2020 8:24

OP pulls out a strapon. "First you have to perform felatio on my little friend in order to lube it up. Otherwise it's going to hurt you."

Comments

yourwifelovesme 25

Saturday 25 January 2020 20:02

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

manb91gb 15

Saturday 25 January 2020 20:15

Well... Did you? I'm amazed it took three years - I couldn't go three minutes without wanting to perform fellatio on a boyfriend 😂

ojosRojos 28

Saturday 25 January 2020 23:02

Riiiight.

manb91gb 15

Sunday 26 January 2020 9:16

Believe me - you don't know how much I enjoy it.

kfchicken 31

Sunday 26 January 2020 10:52

even if it's true no one needed to know

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 January 2020 21:08

With a Lifesavers gummy ring? He must have a tiny penis!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 26 January 2020 1:51

Is he 12? You shouldn't be performing fellatio on a 12 year old.

rex 10

Sunday 26 January 2020 2:40

I would have been better with a vibrating c*ck ring!

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 26 January 2020 3:29

Yea, OP, but only AFTER he allows you the honor of first pegging him.... (assuming that you've never wanted to/ given him a bj.)

Ashamed_Sister 60

Sunday 26 January 2020 8:24

OP pulls out a strapon. "First you have to perform felatio on my little friend in order to lube it up. Otherwise it's going to hurt you."

jriley4u 17

Sunday 26 January 2020 8:09

Well I thought it was creative and funny. Shows he has a great sense of humor.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 522

The Top

Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 544

Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 1 546

Today, my mom filmed our friends running into each other with exercise balls. One of the balls got lost, and I was seen in the video running to retrieve it. One commenter in the video said she "loved the woman running for the ball." Last time I checked, I'm not a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 207

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 389

You deserved it 4 111

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 56 153

Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 418

Beautifully said

Same thing different taste

Spoiled the mood

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