Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Beautifully said

Beautifully said

By Kilamo - 25/01/2020 14:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years got down on one knee and asked those words all girls love to hear, "Would you do me the honor of performing fellatio on me?" with a Lifesavers gummy ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 418

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Same thing different taste

By ohmaigawd - 14/09/2011 16:59 - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 588

You deserved it 6 963

By Username - 20/07/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 391

You deserved it 8 517

By Cococautly - 04/07/2009 04:49 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 785

You deserved it 13 899

Spoiled the mood

By DFR - 09/06/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a really really romantic way. After we called our parents to tell them the news, he turned to me and said, "Hey, I hope you know this doesn't mean you can start getting lazy with your blowjobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 888

You deserved it 23 827

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 941

You deserved it 14 580

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 044

You deserved it 1 886

By snoozerlooser - 25/12/2010 00:00 - Canada

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 481

You deserved it 7 788

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 06:29 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 672

You deserved it 3 917

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 976

You deserved it 8 364

By Anonymous - 07/09/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I said yes and he gave me an engagement ring. He immediately went to call his mom to tell her the happy news. After the phone call, he asked if he could return the ring because his mom needed money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 484

You deserved it 3 866

yourwifelovesme 25

Saturday 25 January 2020 20:02

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

Ashamed_Sister 60

Sunday 26 January 2020 8:24

OP pulls out a strapon. "First you have to perform felatio on my little friend in order to lube it up. Otherwise it's going to hurt you."

Comments

yourwifelovesme 25

Saturday 25 January 2020 20:02

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie

manb91gb 15

Saturday 25 January 2020 20:15

Well... Did you? I'm amazed it took three years - I couldn't go three minutes without wanting to perform fellatio on a boyfriend 😂

ojosRojos 28

Saturday 25 January 2020 23:02

Riiiight.

manb91gb 15

Sunday 26 January 2020 9:16

Believe me - you don't know how much I enjoy it.

kfchicken 31

Sunday 26 January 2020 10:52

even if it's true no one needed to know

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 January 2020 21:08

With a Lifesavers gummy ring? He must have a tiny penis!

BurnInDemonFire 33

Sunday 26 January 2020 1:51

Is he 12? You shouldn't be performing fellatio on a 12 year old.

rex 10

Sunday 26 January 2020 2:40

I would have been better with a vibrating c*ck ring!

jbuckets_404 38

Sunday 26 January 2020 3:29

Yea, OP, but only AFTER he allows you the honor of first pegging him.... (assuming that you've never wanted to/ given him a bj.)

Ashamed_Sister 60

Sunday 26 January 2020 8:24

OP pulls out a strapon. "First you have to perform felatio on my little friend in order to lube it up. Otherwise it's going to hurt you."

jriley4u 17

Sunday 26 January 2020 8:09

Well I thought it was creative and funny. Shows he has a great sense of humor.

Keywords

Love Music Cute Gross Coworkers TMI Work Racism Customers Kids Scary Gamers Technology Geek Miscellaneous Neighbours DIY Relatable Social Media Ironic Awkward Cheating Sex Animals Health Insects Plumbing Money Insurance Farts

The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 98

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, while at dinner with my wife, she asked me what was on my mind as I stared blankly at the window. "Nothing" was interpreted as, "We are boring, and can't stand each other." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 712

You deserved it 1 508

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 262

You deserved it 43 239

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 794

You deserved it 2 934

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 422

You deserved it 40 437

Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 144

You deserved it 3 521

Beautifully said

Same thing different taste

Spoiled the mood

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