Weird, Farts and Nature: Basic communication

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 007

You deserved it 6 014

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Same thing different taste

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 514

You deserved it 13 273

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 755

You deserved it 6 673

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 608

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 129

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 047

You deserved it 2 706

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 226

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 768

You deserved it 11 914

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 144

By JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 272

You deserved it 48 055

By beriles - 15/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 8 436

DaGirlz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Sounds like a pleasant man.

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:07

I fart in your general direction

Comments

BAbyR 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:13

um eww. i hope you left. and didnt stay sitting there

spoo 24

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:14

FYL, but he is every mans hero :o

necromancerlord 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:16

Well, yes, but that's why one must always be prepared, and carry important items, such as stinkbombs, along with phone, money, I.D., keys, matches, utility knife, etc.

blinkingstarlet 15

Wednesday 17 June 2009 7:32

lolol exactly what i was thinking lmfao

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:16

You win this round sir. But we will meet again.

jillz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:16

He was polite enough not to unleash that in a car or house. Impressive.

jackdaniels_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:18

lmfao! that sucks lol and #5, bahahaha! good job!!! Your mother is a hampster, and your father smells of old elderberries! :P

GothamKnight 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:19

HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's funny!

roflitsemma 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:19

Haha, that is epic.

ajscw 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:20

LOL how random but also funny but keep ur doors locked

18scarymary18 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:20

Perhaps he always farts on that bench at lunchtime, and seeing as it is now a tradition to him he saw no reason to not go and fart on his bench, just because you were enjoying your lunch there. In fact I would go as far as to say we could have designated 'Farting Sites' in public places, to minimise embarrassment when someone has to let rip!