Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
passinthrough 1
Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.
LeavenSilva 27
Some people honestly need to think about how appropriate their "jokes" are... I mean, calling the cops is a bit far for a joke
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Comments (130)
lulubelles 33
Poor OP. She sounds like a real bitch, I would not find this funny.
vlalam 24
I think it's not worth it, please call it off.. she doesn't deserve u
HorrorJr 26
Why would she not want to see you D;
AtherSheep 15
I would dump her. As soon as that happened. I would have called her or texted her saying it was over, gone home, grabbed all her stuff if she lived with me, thrown it all outside the door for her to get. And if she had my car and I didn't have a spare key, I'd call the tow truck and have the car towed back to my house. If I have a spare key, I'd drive the car back. o.o some jokes are funny, but when you involve the cops, that's to far. That's no longer a joke, it becomes a setup. Sorry OP, but your "girlfriend" doesn't seem to want to be your "girlfriend" if she's willing to get you banned from her work place and is to bored to go see you.
AkashaSC2 11
Couldn't agree more !
Brandi_Faith 34
Not too mention she doesn't sound like she really likes him if she's bored and doesn't want to see him. I don't think the cops were actually called, I think security threatened to call them if he came back, but still, playing that kind of "joke" and going on with it long enough to get security involved, have posters made, and actually have you thrown out of the building?! Horrible. It actually sounds like she isn't interested anymore and this was her way of breaking up. I also bet if you try to see her again, she'll freak on you & continue to make up stories about you. Best to walk away now and not look back. If she ends up trying to talk to you again you can let her know then that it's over and there are certain things that aren't funny.
Dexter83_fml 17
Leave her. Don't put up with that crazy shit.
Incognico 22
Maybe she likes the security guy I little bit to much?
ToxicTyrael 26
Maybe you should never see her again. Grab your stuff and move out (if it's her house) or throw her stuff out and change the locks (if it's yours). If she wants to break into your house call the cops. She sounds like she can't the difference between a prank and serious shit.
expertsmilee 26
I can't the difference either.
Brandi_Faith 34
Not only is it too serious because she got security involved and dragged it all out, but she's also ruining his character and making him look bad. Now people (at least at her work) actually think that op is a stalker and probably a bad person. Definite defamation of character and definitely not cool!
ToxicTyrael 26
Also if the police gets involved he might be punished. I heard once that stalking is punished with prison in the states. Though I don't know if that's true.
Candace7 19
Sorry, but your girlfriend sounds like an asshole.
SweetasCandy0609 28
So you tried to do something nice for your girlfriend since you knew she was having a bad dad and she thought what? hmm I'm having a bad day so she says let's see how I can make my boyfriend have one to? and get him banned from my work Wow OP that's messed up sorry OP.
dark_angel4121 12
Wow. I would be happy to see my BF surprise me at my workplace. She obvious doesn't see any value in you. You deserve better OP.