Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML
Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML
Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
passinthrough 1
Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.
LeavenSilva 27
Some people honestly need to think about how appropriate their "jokes" are... I mean, calling the cops is a bit far for a joke
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
zeusdom 15
Throw her stuff out on the lawn and when she comes home tell her your bored and don't want to see her and that you guys are over so she won't have to worry about you pestering her every again(:
Shakazulu1216 13
She's a bitch. Break up with her.
foxmatrix15 8
She doesn't wanna be with you dude. It's her way of getting a major hint I'd throw her ass out if she lives with u. If she thinks it's funny then she's insane
melanielovejeff 15
Does she know that she's your girlfriend? Lol I do have to say though that her joke was a bit extreme.
faireanjell 5
I hope she's your ex now because she's an unappreciative bitch
Fraggled 5
She's probably cheating with a coworker.
janfleury 19
Hummmmm, bored and did not feel like seeing you. Are you sure it was a joke? Maybe she is trying to drop the "get away from me" hint. You maybe a stalker by accident. Just saying.
BlackIce911 17
As a few others have stated, time to get away from the crazy. If someone is willing to do this just because they are bored, imagine what they could do if they felt slighted.
Drentiful 9
Are you sure she's your girlfriend? Also, normally when a girl says she doesn't want to see you; then she doesn't wanna see you!
mammolady 8
Surprise your gf by breaking up with her...she's a jerk!