Weird, Grandparents and Miscellaneous: Always prepared

Always prepared

By emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 809

You deserved it 7 812

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Same thing different taste

By No money, mo' problems - 18/06/2013 22:01 - United States

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 180

You deserved it 9 659

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 990

You deserved it 3 468

By Anonymous - 31/05/2014 20:04 - United States - Brandon

Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 887

You deserved it 3 884

By yelyah - 29/03/2012 16:19 - United States - Tolono

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 2 177

By Brooklyn - 05/11/2012 22:11 - United States - Newport

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 636

You deserved it 3 277

Misunderstanding

By almostmugged - 17/09/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 054

You deserved it 55 260

Stranger Danger!

By tried to help - 07/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 508

You deserved it 655

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 00:00 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 358

You deserved it 5 094

That's on you

By eldar90 - 25/02/2012 21:38 - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 122

You deserved it 2 395

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 19:09 - France - Minzier

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 354

You deserved it 4 301

DocBastard 38

Sunday 5 May 2013 3:09

Be proud! Not many people can truthfully say that their grandmother is an actual badass.

yuup96 11

Sunday 5 May 2013 3:10

fyl? naaah f their life! they were just dominated by a grandma. she's a boss!

Comments

SunAndSand89 0

Sunday 5 May 2013 3:51

That is awesome! That would make me feel better about my grandma being safe, if she stood up for herself like that. Badass granny! :-)

rokolodo 10

Sunday 5 May 2013 3:52

Grandma just saved life. U owe her. Then again maybe not, ur grandma maybe psycho.

SweetasCandy0609 28

Sunday 5 May 2013 3:55

dude your gran is a bad ass you should be proud.

EngageZoo5 8

Sunday 5 May 2013 3:56

The knife was just a warning. If they would've came any closer she might've had to use the 9mm she's packing in her bag.

larsak 3

Sunday 5 May 2013 4:05

Your grandma is a boss. Be glad she didn't pull a gun out of her bra!

madridistagirl 13

Sunday 5 May 2013 4:13

Oh man this may be the funniest fml I've read! Man I wish I could be that badass when I grow old!!!

possy 19

Sunday 5 May 2013 4:13

Granny's got game!!!

anishays 11

Sunday 5 May 2013 4:18

How is that an FML?

frod0 10

Sunday 5 May 2013 4:19

Don't question the power of the gran! She just saved both your asses! We should all be so lucky to have a knife wielding granny.

StormyZero 11

Sunday 5 May 2013 4:23

Gangsta Grandma don't give a shit.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 572

You deserved it 2 672

Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 686

The Top

Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 365

You deserved it 76 152

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 8 014

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 5 531

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 326

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 878

You deserved it 2 353

Today, my parents decided that because my sister never cleans the bathroom, every time she doesn’t, she and I BOTH have to pay $100 a week for a maid. I can’t afford to move out, and with this, I never will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 132