Death, Relatable, ACAB and Cops: Alexa, play "911 Is a Joke" by Public Enemy

Alexa, play "911 Is a Joke" by Public Enemy

By A.C.A.B. - 04/08/2022 22:00

Today, I'm right now comforting my 21-year-old brother, after we'd called the cops because a mugger stabbed one of my brother's friends while the three of us were on the street. Kudos to the police, who left us waiting in the line for more than 50 minutes, letting an innocent die, and allowing a scumbag to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 122

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Nice guy to the rescue

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 01:59

Today, I saved a woman from being mugged, and stayed with her until the police arrived. At which point she ignored me completely, and thanked the handsome 20-something police officer for making her feel safe, like I did nothing. Ungrateful cow. Next time the mugger can have your handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 1 356

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 935

You deserved it 2 841

By Anonymous - 29/03/2014 02:00 - United States - Kent

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 909

You deserved it 3 705

Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2021 23:01

Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 75

By an idiot - 16/02/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 7 822

Thanks for your help

By forgotten - 28/02/2013 00:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 3 987

By Bec - 25/07/2011 14:10 - Australia

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 422

You deserved it 3 597

By Anonymous - 27/04/2016 17:32 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 666

You deserved it 2 904

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 061

You deserved it 3 218

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 971

You deserved it 3 571

cuz803 44

Thursday 4 August 2022 22:34

I'm sorry for the trauma and incompetent behavior of authority you experienced recently. Hope you and your brother recover soon.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 5 August 2022 0:14

They were too busy pulling over black people for having broken tail lights.

Comments

cuz803 44

Thursday 4 August 2022 22:34

I'm sorry for the trauma and incompetent behavior of authority you experienced recently. Hope you and your brother recover soon.

RiseBySin 2

Thursday 4 August 2022 23:32

Yeah. We should definitely defund the police. I'm sure that will totally reduce crime and improve response times.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 5 August 2022 0:14

They were too busy pulling over black people for having broken tail lights.

sarsuela 28

Monday 8 August 2022 12:50

I'm confused. Why didn't you call an ambulance for the stabbed friend? How could police have helped them?

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You deserved it 162

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The Top

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You deserved it 16 017

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I agree, your life sucks 4 560

You deserved it 1 404

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I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 90

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I agree, your life sucks 93 553

You deserved it 4 922

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I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 4 547