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Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML
Too bad you used the word "accidentally" there. If you purposely made the mugger stab himself, we'd think you're a bad-ass superhero, instead of a lucky klutz.
Hopefully this is the last time the mugger tries to rob anyone. I hope everything goes well for you.