Work

Don't mind me

By Sam - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, "Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 318

You deserved it 3 827

Doesn't feel weird at all

By Job - 05/07/2023 15:00

Today, my wife decided she'd be the agent of the musician she had an affair with last year. Now she brushes off any complaints or concerns with, "It's strictly professional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 282

Missing out

By Not stonks - 05/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my workplace is doing a "time and a half" day for the Fourth of July. Take a wild guess at who is the only employee who's not scheduled to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 177

Slacker

By Valet Guy - 03/07/2023 06:34

Today, it marks the 24th day of being on this site, as nothing else will load at my work, and it takes me 30 minutes to watch a 3 minute-long video. I'm going to die in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 449

Valetguy tells us more.

Valetguy 4

Sunday 2 July 2023 21:34

OP here, yeah actually. I sit at a gate all day in a parking garage and watch people pay and get tickets, I get up everytime someone needs assistance, so yes please explain cause I'm very interested in how the **** I can do my job more than I am. 😂 And other guy, what does IT have to do with no signal in a parking garage? Absofuckinglutely nothing 😀

Peacemaker

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my coworker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 510

You deserved it 14 296

Panic

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 11:00 - United States - Palacios

Today, I'm a bookkeeper for a small company next to the ocean. It’s usually just me in the office, except when the owners stop by unannounced. I take #2s discreetly so they dont walk in on me. Today I couldn’t get my #2 to flush and didnt have a plunger, so I scooped it into a pitcher, ran outside, and threw it in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 300

Red tape

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 15:00

Today, I drove for 45 minutes to find an open print shop to scan and email my signed severance agreement for the job I'd worked at for two years, so I can keep the maximum value of the severance. They specifically asked me to scan a copy, instead of mailing. Now they've blocked my email, so I can't get my severance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 112

Road to ruin

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 00:02

Today, and for the past 3 years since I first started looking for work, my mother has once again cussed me out and called me "ungrateful" because I tried to get a job. She won't let me get my ID, and she will only apply to jobs around our tiny town that she "feels like doing." We're about to lose our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 104

What a waster

By Anonymous - 01/07/2023 12:00

Today, when I arrived to a prospective customer's home to give her a shower replacement estimate, a sheriff pulled up behind me and arrested said customer. I drove a 3-hour round trip to this appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 88

Risky business

By PleaseCalmDownThisIsALibrary - 30/06/2023 16:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, I'm just a simple librarian. Last week, we had to call the cops on two separate aggressive patrons. Today, I had to call the cops yet again. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 95

Riveting

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview, while it was taking place over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 856

You deserved it 30 881

Barely legal

By I work for an idiot - 30/06/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me, and only me, to leave work before I was done because I'm a minor and he can't have me sticking around at work as long as I do. I'm not a minor. My coworkers are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 106

Boing!

By kaytay2469 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while I was working at childcare, I asked a two year-old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me, which bounced off my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 719

You deserved it 4 911

Deservedly so

By NeedAJobNow - 29/06/2023 06:00

Today, I was setting up a computer before a big work meeting. I noticed the software they were using had a text to speech feature. I thought it would be funny to make it say obscene things, then delete it. When the meeting started, the speakers blared, “The VP is gay hahahaha” in a robotic voice. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 1 849

Asshat walking

By Bad employee - 28/06/2023 11:00 - United States

Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 185

Work husbands and work wives

By Sleeping at my parents tonight - 28/06/2023 15:00

Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 133

Time to retire

By Should Have Gotten It In Writing - 27/06/2023 06:00 - United States - Morgan Hill

Today, my boss accused me of pursuing a project without his permission that he "wouldn't have approved." I DID get his permission, but he has early Alzheimer's and doesn't remember. He gets upset when anyone suggests that he's misremembering, so all I could do was apologize for not doing something I definitely did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 114

Monday Monday, so good to me…

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, my 73 year-old coworker has made a mountain of work for me to plough through due to her incompetence. I had to work through over 400 emails, since she thought unplugging the router would help, and in doing so, I have picked up on hundreds of mistakes she has made with clients, and had to apologise to each one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 126

Double FML

By Kelly - 26/06/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 134

Welcome back

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came back to work after 4 days off, as I'd worked a whole month with no weekends or days off, 8-12 hours per day. I came back to over 200 unread emails, 300 emails to send, and over 50 arrears collection calls to make by 2pm. It appears that my coworker did nothing the whole time I was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 113

A good thing? Really?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 12:00

Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 1 374

Entitled

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 15:00

Today, I know my ex has spoiled our daughter. How do I know this? Because I got her a low level job at the same company as me, got her first paycheck and legit asked me, “Is that it? Where’s the rest of my money?” What rest of her money? That’s her wages for a months work. Curse my rich ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 225

Mean streets

By love_today - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I got called a "f***ing b**ch" by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 974

You deserved it 7 230

Creative mind

By Dean Heffern - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill." He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 4 220

Timing

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got an email back at 3 a.m. from a university I applied for, saying that I got in on a provisional basis. That provision was that I had to provide certain documents to prove my prior learning. The due date for the documents was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 93

Training day

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 09:00 - United States - Tualatin

Today, my work sent out a fake phishing email as a test. I didn’t fall for it, but because I’m in tech support, we were flooded with panicked callers. People who fell for it have to take training, or their accounts will be locked - which means we will be flooded with panicked callers again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 136

Take a seat

By Cutting them off would hurt less than this - 15/06/2023 09:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, it's been a year since completely breaking a ligament in my ankle. Since then, my feet have gotten increasingly sensitive, walking or standing for longer than ten minutes feels like I'm being stabbed, and lasts long after I sit down. I work retail and they consistently forget to give me my breaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 114

Thin spread

By Capitalism - 15/06/2023 06:00

Today, it's a long weekend and our restaurant is severely understaffed, with a record number of customers and 6 staff doing the work of the 10 who would usually be there. Other restaurants would have 14 staff on with those numbers. There is no chance in hell that will be reflected in our wages, however. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 121

Giving up

By Kate - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband decided he will be a 'stay at home' dad. We have two cats. No kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 274

You deserved it 4 208

Blackout

By Viscerion - 14/06/2023 22:30 - Australia - Adelaide CBD

Today, I was happily playing Diablo IV when all of a sudden it was 4 p.m. and time to go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 878

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 266

You deserved it 10 016

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 832

You deserved it 19 991

Today, my mum gave me a two-month ultimatum to get married or risk being disowned. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 84

Today, my daughter had a flat tire. When she told me about it, I said, “Well, it’s a good thing you know how to change a tire!” She then replied that she has actually forgotten how to change a tire, because it’s “been too long.” It’s only been a couple months since I showed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 301

Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 839

You deserved it 2 481

Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 447

You deserved it 1 712