Surprise

Messed up

By Suprise - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 369

You deserved it 9 042

Surprise surprise

By Niva - 17/02/2023 18:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because his wife found out about me. And by extension, I found out about his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 215

Nice try

By Anonymous - 04/11/2021 02:00 - Australia

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 185

Hush, Mother

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 136

Surprise!

By PartyPooper - 18/09/2018 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, I attended my graduation ceremony. My parents acted mysteriously and kept urging me to go home, since we had to be "on time" for something. Thinking they might have planned a surprise party, I left my friends behind. I missed my graduation because my mom wanted to watch a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 903

You deserved it 340

Bad timing

By Tracey - 25/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 145

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 18:00

Today, I’ve been abroad for three years, but flew home to visit. My parents had a surprise: my baby sister, who they kept secret from me so they could film my reaction. She’s so cute but they’re upset that I’m angry at them. Sorry, but sane people don’t keep a baby a fucking secret from its sibling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 205

Short-lived

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 690

Surprise!

By Muscle - 06/03/2009 21:07 - Canada

Today, I flew home early from a two-month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with silk-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said, "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 202

You deserved it 3 985

The cutest

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was getting him the “best surprise ever” for our anniversary. It turns out that we'd had the exact same idea, and bought each other the same pair of matching socks with each other's faces on them. I guess we both got the same damn ad in our Instagram feeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 451

Here, take these

By Gvinson36 - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, as they were being dropped off, I was informed that I'll be taking care of my grandparents' two cats. My apartment complex doesn't allow pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 333

Holy shit

By embarrassed - 04/01/2016 17:58 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 048

You deserved it 3 431

Fake news!

By Anon - 28/11/2023 14:00 - Canada

Today, after I tried to plan a surprise party for my friend, and a series of miscommunications and accidental reveals, it turned it into a surprise party for myself. I walked into a room filled with people shouting, "Surprise!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 214

Le epic bacon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 276

You deserved it 50 725

Fancy seeing you here

By mustanggt - 15/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I met my girlfriend's husband for the first time. It went surprisingly well, despite neither of us knowing the other existed before tonight, but it's still a miserable situation no matter what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 131

What the…?

By Gary McBain - 14/01/2023 06:00

Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 101

Gammy got game

By moetplease - 03/05/2012 16:32 - Singapore

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year-old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 787

You deserved it 3 821

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 00:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 82

Not ready for this

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned, 9 years after the death of my last intimate partner who'd moved away, that I have a 10 year-old child, and after the kid's grandpa died I was listed as a relative. Now I have a 10 year-old on my shoulders. DNA confirmed it was mine, and I never was told. Getting drunk before I take the kid in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 437

That's so lovely!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 438

You deserved it 4 058

By Anonymous - 29/03/2014 03:02 - Canada - Rosthern

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 254

You deserved it 4 162

Carry that weight

By Sally - 16/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 747

I'll have the Catfish

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 144

Romantic moves

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 298

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 2 639

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I came home after spending two days in the hospital for suicidal ideation and found a summons for jury duty in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 158

Welcome to the world

By Anonymous - 14/02/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I learned it is in fact possible to give birth despite having had no symptoms of pregnancy, including no weight gain. Our daughter made a surprise appearance this morning at 6 lbs exactly, and we are in no way ready. We don’t even have clothes for her. My husband is acting like he’s been concussed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 372

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 404

You deserved it 31 261

Bullying ain't cool, guys

By FatAndSingle - 17/10/2022 16:00

Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 849

Startled

By Achoo - 24/09/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 345

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Cheating Babies Love Surprise Health Gross Poopoo peepee Transportation Weird Awkward Facebook Paranoia Jealousy Embarrassing Cute Sexism Painful Birthday Insects Miscellaneous Vacation Food Television TV shows Money Work Bosses Public freakouts Cops Fight

The Top

Today, I’m a good man, ready to settle down and build with a good woman, but no one wants to take a chance and build something with me because I'm temporarily living in a homeless shelter. That doesn’t make me unworthy or undeserving of love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 264

Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 71

Random

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 857

You deserved it 1 865

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 890

You deserved it 2 508

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 924

You deserved it 77 568

Today, and every other day for the past week and a half, I have added a new step to my nightly routine: violently throwing up, just before bed. Fuck you, gallbladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 124

Today, police questioned me on behalf of my doctor, who couldn’t believe one person could use so much insulin, so he thinks I’m selling it to bodybuilders. I really do use it all myself, I use about 6 times as much as my sister who is also diabetic, and my diet is normal. I only weigh 10.5 stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 128

Today, during a virtual class, I thought I was muted and said, “I’m gonna fake a technical issue and take a nap.” The professor responded, “Let us know how the nap goes.” I never logged back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 698