Cancer

Balls

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 17:00

Today, at 17 years-old my doctor told me my balls are riddled with multiple small cancerous tumours. They are now useless for sperm production and will have to be removed anyway to cure the cancer, but not to worry, for aesthetic reasons they can replace them with silicone balls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 241

You deserved it 132

This blows

By Katie B - 23/09/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I received a rejection email from a brain cancer research charity to be a junior graphic designer with them. I'd forgotten about the application with them because after I applied, my dad became unwell and got diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 67

Jumbled up

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I still haven't met my SO’s traditional Indian parents, even though we have been together for 3 years, they just pretend I don’t exist. Today I also found out that my SO’s mom has cancer. I'm trying to be there for him, but he keeps pushing me away. He literally said he doesn’t know about our relationship now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 213

Happy New Year, maybe

By boardAtTheHospital - 01/01/2022 05:00

Today, I'm home alone and it blows, especially since my wife has to stay at the hospital to get chemo, and I can't stay with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 122

New look

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, it's the 3-month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 11 083

Tantrum

By Gloria - 25/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 218

Our heart goes out to you

By BloodyButUnbowed - 11/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, I'm scheduling a cab to take me to my cancer surgery on Tuesday. I need a cab because there is literally no one to go with me, or to help me afterwards. I am truly alone in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 108

Fairweather friends

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 14:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad is terminally ill from bone cancer. It’s been 2 months and not even one of my so-called friends have asked me how I’m doing or how my parents are doing. They do however contact me when they need something. I have always been there for them - guess I was a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 137

The big C

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I had an offer for a job, and was going to receive the offer letter… only if I would postpone my oncologist appointments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 93

Corporate stooge

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 92

Escapism

By ChemoInReno - 26/06/2024 04:00 - Australia - Point Piper

Today, I am still recovering after my second round of chemotherapy. You’d think I’d be able to rest instead of making lunch and dinner for our kids, and cleaning the house. But no, my wife says that would mess up her day. Which is centred around an 8-hour M*A*S*H marathon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 111

Sanity

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 16:00

Today, my wife has cancer but rather than go to hospital like a sane person, she has started going to church as often as possible, even though in the history of mankind I can’t remember a single instance where praying to some statue with a cross has ever cured cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 1 154

Estranged

By freamly - 16/03/2021 17:01

Today, I called my mother to tell her about my terminal cancer diagnosis. She responded with, "What makes you think I care at all?" before hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 109

Understandably so

By Sleepless in Fremantle - 27/02/2022 06:01 - Australia

Today, after having insomnia and also being constantly woken in the middle of the night by spam texts, I turned my notifications off and fell asleep, forgetting I had done so - until a few days later when I discovered my friends two day-old text telling me he has incurable cancer. I've apologized profusely, but he’s ghosted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 208

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 656

You deserved it 15 783

Go fund me not

By Danny28 - 27/11/2022 18:00

Today, I discovered that, according to her primary doctor, my mom never had cancer. That explains why she has the new iPhone, a plethora of designer purses, and a brand new Tesla. Turns out, I’ve been fueling her shopping spree habit, rather than her “cancer and chemotherapy treatments.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 138

The eternal argument

By Annoyed atheist - 07/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I was watching the episode of New Amsterdam where a man's cancer goes into remission very abruptly. As the doctors wonder how the hell that's possible, my mom says, "God." Okay. So if this "God" controls what happens to your body, why is cancer still a thing? My mom is no longer religious. She's delusional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 304

I hate this

By Danny - 25/04/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad is fighting for his life after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis and a life threatening surgery. I work full time and I visit him when I can, knowing we’re on borrowed time. I come home emotional exhausted and drained, only to be met with a nagging wife that says I’m not prioritizing her or the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 86

Healthcare for all!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, it's one of the many monotonous days I have endured in this damn third world country after I found out that my dad had cancer and we moved here for his treatment. My skin condition has spread all over my body from the stress, so I constantly feel absolutely repulsed by my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 145

Deez Nuts

By ALittleLighter - 14/09/2021 05:00

Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 80

Thanks, I feel better!

By Neal - 10/08/2022 13:00 - United States - Northport

Today, my dad told me, in the form of a soliloquy, to have a better attitude about death and dying. I have terminal cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 110

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 310

You deserved it 16 405

Punchline man

By Anonymous - 09/07/2022 06:00

Today, thanks to the hormone treatments for my cancer, I have gained so much weight I am now officially the punchline for “How does a fat man find his penis? With a mirror on a stick and an erection.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 164

Unusual diagnosis method

By Anonymous - 08/08/2022 16:00

Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 138

Ironic

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 16:00

Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 110

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 21:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that I have at least stage 3 cancer. I went on my insurance's website to get information for the doctors. I also saw "Other people who have been on your plan." My ex-wife was listed, with a new last name. She got remarried. I'm just going to let the cancer take me at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 112

Get up!

By Casino - 02/04/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 483

You deserved it 102 500

Fingers crossed

By lukey101 - 05/11/2023 21:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 122

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 05:00 - United States - Overland Park

Today, it's not bad enough that I'm fighting stage 4 colorectal cancer, and that I'm 3 weeks out of colostomy surgery, during the night, it came unhooked from my body in my sleep. I woke up to the smell of shit, and I was covered in dried shit, glued to my sheets. It made it through 2 'waterproof' mattress protectors, to the expensive foam mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 98

Free healthcare for all

By Thegout69 - 28/07/2022 02:00

Today, I lost my job because I fell victim to an incredibly complex phone scam. The hackers didn't get anything, but now I don't know what's worse - I can't afford to feed my kids, or I can't afford my chemotherapy for my my terminal cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 216

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm so broke that I'm thinking about using a glass of whiskey and a pair of pliers to pull out my broken wisdom teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 073

You deserved it 1 348

Today, I fixed a tech support problem I was emailed about. I fixed it, then replied back to let them know, and let them know to use the ticketing system next time. They logged the same problem I just fixed not 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 157

Today, I came home to a complete asshole. I didn't remember it was the anniversary of his late wife's death. from like 2009, whom I never met. The same ass who got mad at me for being sad for too long because my dad died last July. BTW, after I finally fix my credit, I'm out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 308

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 2 819

Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 696

You deserved it 439

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 38 074