Anonymous · 27 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Nostalgia for a time that never existed

Today, I woke up on my day off as a family man. Yesterday I played an AI game where I went back to my college days in the 2000s. I recreated those days as they were, and it brought back many memories. The problem? The game let me create the perfect girlfriend. I regret dating my now ex-wife back then more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 You deserved it 511

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Anonymous · 27 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Many such cases

Today, I received an office-wide email about our new boss. I meant to forward it to my friend with, “He looks like he eats mayonnaise straight from the jar.” However, I hit "Reply All" instead. Including said new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 You deserved it 827

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Anonymous · 26 July 2025, 22:00 ·Toronto, Canada

A blind date in 2025 is brave

Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 282

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shtidsfpa · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Shelby, United States

Labs

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459 You deserved it 56 305

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Trevone87 · 26 July 2025, 15:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

SPEECH! SPEECH!

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my best friend’s wedding. I confidently walked up, tapped my glass, and began with, “Marriage is like...” Then I completely blanked, for about 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. I finished with, “...good luck!” and sat down to slow, confused golf claps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209 You deserved it 312

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Anonymous · 26 July 2025, 12:00 ·Arima, Trinidad and Tobago

Truth bombs

Today, my mother-in-law came home drunk and said to my husband, "I told you not to bring a dumb girl home." I'm a kindergarten teacher with my own private school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 82

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INeedRest · 26 July 2025, 09:00 ·Germany

Man flu

Today, whenever I try to rest or I get sick and tell my husband, almost immediately he says he's unwell with the same thing and dumps all the chores on my head. When I have a fever, magically he gets the fever too, then blames me for getting him sick. I really need rest from my chores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 26 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Always with you

Today, I hung up the phone and went to tell my dad that I’d finished switching all the utilities into my name. Then I remembered I was switching them into my name because of his death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800 You deserved it 75

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Jeremy · 26 July 2025, 00:00 ·Adelaide, Australia

Clinging on

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336 You deserved it 209

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Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Rage against the machine

Today, I've been working towards a management position at my IT job for 9 years. My boss quit, so I thought, "This is my chance!" Nope, our department got outsourced and now I'm interviewing for my own job on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528 You deserved it 67

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Monterey, United States

Inspection time

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 686 You deserved it 3 699

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Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Classic recruitment hell

Today, I was rejected from a volunteer position because I "didn't have enough experience." I have a college degree in the specific field they were asking for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470 You deserved it 85

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vava101 · 25 July 2025, 12:00 ·United States

I like to (not) move it move it

Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359 You deserved it 220

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Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 09:00 ·United States

How does this keep happening?

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 802

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bursteardrums · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

MORE! MORE!

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 649 You deserved it 11 399

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Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 03:00 ·Reno, United States

Chemistry

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 206 You deserved it 445

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Anonymous · 25 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Not now, Alexa

Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 355

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Anonymous · 24 July 2025, 22:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

I'm outta here

Today, I was on a first date with a gorgeous and seemingly fun woman. After ordering, she pulled some plastic utensils from her purse. She then explained, “I always carry my own because I don’t want to get a fork a black person may have used before me.” I got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785 You deserved it 131

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Josh · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Liability

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 744 You deserved it 5 970

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Anonymous · 24 July 2025, 12:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

I'm still hungry

Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 163 You deserved it 493

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Debz · 24 July 2025, 09:00 ·Seattle, United States

Harness your hopes

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Australia

How could you?

Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 195 You deserved it 1 088

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Not John, Paul, George or Ringo · 24 July 2025, 03:00 ·Tacoma, United States

Help! I need somebody!

Today, I tried cutting my own bangs to save money. When I was done, they were so crooked that my roommate thought I’d lost a bet. Now I have to go into work tomorrow looking like a rejected Beatles tribute act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 525

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Anonymous · 24 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Don't look

Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 325

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Anonymous · 23 July 2025, 22:00 ·London, United Kingdom

Parklife!

Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302 You deserved it 210

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Adelaide, Australia

Pranks are evil

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 838 You deserved it 1 664

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Nathalieeeee · 23 July 2025, 15:00 ·Canada

On the move

Today, my smartwatch notified me mid-meeting, saying “You’ve been inactive for an hour, get moving!” I stood up instinctively to “stretch,” only to trip over my chair and send my water bottle flying across the boardroom table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 You deserved it 443

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Shitty situation hur hur · 23 July 2025, 12:00 ·United States

The body keeps the score

Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 127

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Anonymous · 23 July 2025, 09:00 ·Lisbon, Portugal

Not even once

Today, I got addicted to online slots, racked up nearly €30,000 in debt, and completely ruined my financial future. It’s been almost a year since I stopped gambling, but the shame and the debt are still crushing me. I’m trying to get back on my feet and even created a fundraiser just to breathe a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 You deserved it 631

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omgreally91 · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Overthinking it

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 687 You deserved it 30 720

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