All the FMLs

The value of labor

By Chad - 28/09/2024 20:00 - Belgium

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 91

Change of heart

By Anonymous - 28/09/2024 10:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 259

I'm gonna make you a star

By Shazz - 28/09/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, it was brought to my attention that the cute video of my cat snoring like a warthog that I posted to Instagram was on my company’s official Instagram account instead of my personal one. No one noticed until it had been up for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 492

Alexa, play "Ancient History" by The Cribs

By Freddie - 28/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was the best man at my longtime friend’s wedding. I got so into talking about our shared memories over the years that I accidentally called his bride by his ex-girlfriend’s name at the end of my toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 574

The good son

By Busted ears - 28/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 87

Oddly specific reference

By Anonymous - 28/09/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's dad. He was wearing a suit, and talks like Carson the butler from Downton Abbey. At first I thought he was putting on an act, like he was going to yell "Surprise!" at any moment and start acting normally. Nope. That’s actually how he is and it’s weirding me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 151

I'm a rebel, mom!

By SheenaL - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 237

You deserved it 13 925

It's the way I don't tell 'em

By anonanon - 28/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to tell a funny story at a party, but halfway through I forgot the punchline. I panicked and awkwardly mumbled something while everyone stared at me, waiting for something funny to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 255

Stumped

By Possibly a robot - 27/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I failed a CAPTCHA seven times before completing it. They didn't lie when they said they are making them harder. I don't think I'm a robot, but maybe I should get tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 127

Charming

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 118

Stellar parenting

By joi9496 - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 726

You deserved it 482

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's most frequent OCD tic is also the biggest trigger of my misophonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 100

Make it stop, please

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 137

More like high key

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 11:00

Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 152

Pay me!

By Fat - 27/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, if I had a dollar for every person who told me that I couldn't possibly have an eating disorder because I'm overweight, I would have enough to pay for therapy to deal with my very real eating disorder and insecurities about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 143

I'm fine, this is fine

By Harriett - 27/09/2024 06:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 330

Amazing timing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Antelope

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 140

You deserved it 4 421

Stranded and lonely

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Boise

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 118

So infuriating

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law had the nerve to hijack my baby shower to announce her pregnancy. It's all the more infuriating because we later found out that she's NOT pregnant, just a fucking attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 93

Confused

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 19:00

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 158

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 254

You deserved it 36 097

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 392

Introverts can relate

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 445

Explain yourself!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed, and I said yes! Not even three hours later, I got a text message asking if we could just be friends instead. He won't tell me what changed, and doesn't feel like he owes me any explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 86

Tricked

By Puck - 26/09/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - 's-Hertogenbosch

Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 353

Masterful gambit, sir!

By Patzer - 25/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after a long time spent trying to learn chess as a hobby, I've come to accept that I'm simply destined to never be any good at it. Maybe I'm just a slow learner, but it feels like I've made zero progress since I started, despite doing everything I'm told to do. Time to find another hobby, I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 143

Eat to the beat

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Winchester

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 709

You deserved it 3 511

Pretty vacant

By So losing the last name - 26/09/2024 06:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 85

Body horror

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend. I was the little spoon. His hand moved to my chest (I'm less than an A-cup, but very full on my bottom half), and I playfully said, "No! Don’t touch my chest!" He replied, "Huh? I thought that was your rib cage!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 181

Free labor

By mannnnn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff

Today, I went into work to change a shift I was unable to work. I phoned the first person on the employee sheet and they promptly answer by saying, "You still work here? I thought the manager fired you." I was fired last week and have been showing up for shifts without anybody noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 266

You deserved it 6 221

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 510

You deserved it 5 428

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 429

You deserved it 590

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 278

You deserved it 3 586

Today, after getting home from shopping, I noticed a security tag was still on one of the shirts I bought. I decided to take it back and ask them to remove the tag. They then accused me of trying to steal (even after I showed them the receipt) and kicked me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 177

You deserved it 593

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 211

You deserved it 2 094

Today, as usual, without fail, every time I wake up earlier than 10 AM, I vomit blood. No doctor can figure out why, and my parents think I'm lying, spoiled little princess who just wants to be lazy and sleep in every day. If I don’t wake up at 6 AM every day from now on, I’m grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 145