Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my creepy co-worker informed me that he was going to stick his "peeny-weeny" in my "teeny-vageeny". FML
Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
Today, during sex, my (now ex) boyfriend called out the name of the new female coworker that he told me just last night "not to worry about." He's known her for a week. We were together for 8 and a half years. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been anonymously sexting with through an adult website is the seriously creepy stalker-ish front desk worker from our office building, who also happens to be the building owner's son. Shit. FML
Today, I might have ruined my co-worker's relationship with her fiancé, with whom I share a name, because we "work together too often" and now he doesn't know whose name she's saying during sex. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
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Top comments
BigMatt803 18
Kinda makes you wonder how he gets laid being such a creep
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, what a creep. I hope you reported this to your higher-up!
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Comments (80)
BigMatt803 18
Kinda makes you wonder how he gets laid being such a creep
NickaPLZ 26
Maybe he doesn't. Liars are everywhere.
theawkwardlife 21
Roofies.
karpoi 11
Maybe he did get laid.... by his hand. Just twisting the truth.
cieloalicia 16
Oh, there are very dumb and desperate girls.. There are.
RedPillSucks 31
I'm picturing him with a sock puppet.
mfjkr 10
Aliens.
Yorih 19
Gotta be Chloroform
Theclarksondales 8
This has rape written all over it, OP should watch out
Sillydeadperson 17
Jesus, what a creep. I hope you reported this to your higher-up!
CheeseHater 23
I agree, jesus was a creep. But for real though, might be the creepiest thing I've heard all week.
QuinnyZebrass 11
I finally told my manager about him. This isn't the first time something like that has happened. He constantly walks by and "accidentally" touches my butt, and I feel uncomfortable with him even just looking at me. I barely just turned 18 and he's almost 20 years older than me so hopefully he will get fired. :] Damn creeper.
CheeseHater 23
Damn, OP, that sucks.
mattlw 25
"Accidentally" run into his balls with a pair of scissors the next time he "accidentally" touches your rear end. That will probably take care of the personal space issue!
interesting33 36
That is sexual harassment - if nothing happens - you can report it to the police I would imagine.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Ok that is really creepy! Is he at least attractive?
taterrtots 25
if he's a huge creep why would it even matter if he was attractive or not...
missymay993 11
Twilight series. For example, because Edward is "attractive" it's not creepy that he watches Bella sleep every night.
BlueFlatts 20
OP said the creeper is over twice her age. I think for many of us that answers the question. Btw, what creepee is ever attracted to their creeper?!?
Invasion976 6
And Edward is 3x the age of Bella (or more).
shitsville 13
How are there no "you deserved it votes"?! I thought the arsehole trolls were pretty quick, but seriously, FYL...
perdix 29
Are you Steve Martin?
Chucklikesbacon 12
This made me laugh. Well played!
bamagrl410 31
Dammit you beat me to it! I guess this one was just asking for it.
Chucklikesbacon 12
Yeesh, that is creepy! The fact that he told you about it makes the whole thing even worse!
shitsville 13
How does a top comment have negative votes???
AwkwardPartyBear 24
How thoughtful! He must always think of you during his cherished moments.
Harpy20 24
Letting his Palm Pilot take the joystick.
xXAHXx112 13
he probably didnt even get laid
appelflap 22
Report him, that is way TMI. Keep a water spray bottle with you and spray him when he gets near, that's what I do if my cats or dog misbehave.
Mandybruin 15
LOL! That visual made me laugh. *Spritz* "NO! Bad coworker bad!" *Spritz spritz* ;)
RedPillSucks 31
as he's humping her leg
appelflap 22
If it doesn't scare him away at least he cools down a bit ;)
andiw 6
Lmao! Laughed. So. Hard!
j_cat187 19
#51 I picture mini me doing that.