stelthykangaroo

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Brandon, Canada
32 years-old
Friday 09 September 1994
Not specified

About Stelthykangaroo

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It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Mobility

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Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Stelthykangaroo's favorite FMLs

Dirty talk

By unlucky_number13 - 14/07/2009 09:41 - United States

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 927

You deserved it 62 784

By overachiever - 18/07/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 112

You deserved it 8 466

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 497

You deserved it 5 615

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 125 005

By Anonymous - 03/08/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 977

You deserved it 4 812

One big happy family

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said, "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 833

You deserved it 4 585

By Mak10 - 21/08/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 498

You deserved it 51 215

BIKES?!

By David - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to ride my rusty old bike to work, since it might be good the environment. I was standing up and had a tight grip on the handlebar. The handlebar came off and I fell down onto the crossbar, busting my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 853

You deserved it 10 362

By Idiots - 05/09/2009 20:54 - Canada

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 553

You deserved it 47 211

By loveless - 24/09/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 190

You deserved it 33 599

By namhtor - 28/09/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 6 762

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 842

You deserved it 4 135

By Chensticles - 14/10/2009 01:25 - France

Today, I went to my hairdresser who promised me a haircut which "all the girls would want you" for. She gave me a combover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 224

You deserved it 3 661

By freshman15 - 22/10/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 123

You deserved it 8 114

freshman15 tells us more.

freshman15 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 16:25

Ok. I am the OP. I used to 116 lbs and i gained a little weight in college and now I weigh 134lbs. I don't think that is fat and I dont appreciate being called that. But I know by sharing my funny story I run the risk of getting these nasty comments. The nasty comments definitely made my excitement from gettign posted vanished but I will get over it. When my dad said this comment to me I laughed very VERY hard. My dads a funny guy and I didnt take it personally because I love my body and I am comfortable which is all that matters. I posted this story to make other ppl laugh because I think laughter is the best thing in the whole world. I chose this costume because it cost me $10 and i wasnt going to spend $60 smething on something skanky like every other college girl (sorry for those who arent i dont want to generalize). And for the record there is not and never was and spandex involved in the making of this costume. Im wearing an oversized sweater and shorts, tights, legwarmers (etc). Halloween on a budget ppl. So to those who made nice comments, thank you I just wanted everyone to laugh. And to those nasty mean ppl who have nothing better to do than bring ppl down, sorry you think 134lbs is fat and I'm sorry there arent other things that make you laugh besides hurting ppls feelings. Kirstie aka freshman 15