michelliebelle

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Michelliebelle's favorite FMLs

Classy dude

By tw@ - 28/09/2014 15:30 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

agreeclassic 56 934

vote type 1 4 892

By hahaohyeahwow - 24/09/2014 04:24 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

agreeclassic 49 309

vote type 1 5 216

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hahaohyeahwow 4

Wednesday 24 September 2014 19:22

He said he had to poop (lmfao) and did it in there. Also, he cannot do it twice in a night. He literally just passes out. Ha.

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

agreeclassic 43 511

vote type 1 18 454

By war_monkey - 10/04/2014 12:20 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

agreeclassic 45 767

vote type 1 4 278

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Friday 11 April 2014 0:55

It started on april fools with some very lame joke and he has decided to carry on with it and screw around. Thanks for all of the funny comments and yes, I wanted to punch jeff in the face. He has stopped and I showed him the published FML, XD.

By CheapFamily - 09/04/2014 23:47 - United States

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

agreeclassic 56 506

vote type 1 3 817