Valentine's Day confession
By Mister_Triangle - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
By Mister_Triangle - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By 9726 - 01/11/2011 21:05 - Canada
In Canada you need a gun licence to own firearms. To actually carry one you need to qualify annually with your company and they apply for your ATC (authorization to carry) I requalified in August and reminded my manager in September. He forgot to apply for my ATC. Nothing I could do to prevent this.
By peonypiney - 03/11/2011 19:32 - United States
This is my FML. YES, she is extremely blonde and believe it or not, a straight A student. I have never noticed she said it that way before until she had it written down. I've never caught it because we usually say "Book Bag". Her older brother finally convinced her through mockery and laughter.
By sakura_girl - 04/11/2011 11:59 - United Kingdom
Patient needs routine blood investigations; medical student needs more experience. That's the gist of it.
By aylla - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada
By Skyra - 02/03/2012 21:06 - Portugal
To the people that keep having a hissy fit about me hating IKEA — deal with it. It's a matter of personal taste and I happen to dislike not only the design of their pieces but also the quality of their furniture; which is rubbish. You like it? Fine, whatever. I couldn't care less. I don't like it and I'm not changing my mind just because you think I should like it. And, again, personally, to me, IKEA is overrated. With that in mind, please feel free to hate me, or my furniture preferences, as much as you like; I'll be here in my little country having a life.
By whatawaste - 07/03/2012 16:25 - United States
By aprilmay91 - 11/03/2012 12:38 - United States
We have a step stool but it broken and the last time I used it i fell and twisted my ankle and bruised my arm.
By daninalani - 11/03/2012 22:37 - United States
FML bc i spent all morning trying to tell her about how big the universe was. she just got angry.
By SakuraFubuki92 - 12/03/2012 02:13 - United States
Well, I get disability because I can't walk well and am really sick so I barely make enough to put up my part of the rent, let alone move. My best friend/roommate has already complained.
By bowser_rawr16 - 12/03/2012 20:12 - Canada
OP here. Thanks lol. That's actually exactly what I was doing. I'm only 21, and I work in a very professional office, and I always need to look my best. I can't afford new shoes at the time, so that's why I sharpied them.
By lovefortoday - 13/03/2012 16:50 - United States
It was the one on my left wrist of a butterfly and flowers. The other one is a dolphin and flowers. I was unaware that butterflies and dolphins where evil. They were for my Mom and Step-Mom.
By muzikmaler91 - 15/03/2012 09:45 - United States
By Teh_dw33bin4tor - 15/03/2012 12:12 - Australia
Hey, I am kind of astounded this made the front page, but I also realized that I wasn't logged in when I created and submitted this. I'm the OP. I should have phrased this better, but I was running out of room to create the FML. The actual story is that she flat-out broke up with me, and then went around and told all my friends, which happen to also be her friends too, that it was a mutual break-up, but it was my decision for the most part that split us apart, which effectively framed me as the "bad-guy". When I confronted her on it, she first denied telling her (our) friends this, then changed her story to "she couldn't think of what to say". All this while her new "boyfriend" (of 1 day) was helping her move out of my apartment. Sorry for the confusion in the phrasing.
By W45T3D_Y0UTH - 15/03/2012 20:44 - Canada
Nothing that makes me look like a prostitute. Makes one wonder how one could get mistaken for one at noon. In front of a cop car, no less.
By jamboooy - 18/03/2012 06:01 - United States - Monterey Park
By bitchyhiccups - 19/03/2012 13:14 - United States - Tempe
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Paul
By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 06:40 - Australia - Saint Marys
By Anonymous - 02/05/2012 22:41 - Canada - Winnipeg
Well I've been out of high school for over a year now and my other sister (who knew for some reason) let it slip while we were discussing valentines day. I played it off like I already knew, but I secretly died a little inside.