branana77

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I agree, my mouse works.

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YDI Master

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Judgmental

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Branana77's favorite FMLs

The talk

By airplanes-suck - 21/08/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 348

You deserved it 6 691

By mrteacher - 21/08/2009 22:15 - United States

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 241

You deserved it 47 322

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 738

You deserved it 3 663

New filter

By hantavirus - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 385

You deserved it 11 517

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the beach. We were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I noticed that a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 417

You deserved it 53 873

By WanstinChurchHill - 08/09/2009 07:11 - United States

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 386

You deserved it 41 296

Traumatized

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 703

You deserved it 5 911

Follicularly challenged

By ben - 18/09/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barbershop. When the barber had finished with him, I told the barber, "While we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaimed loudly inside a very full barbershop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 007

You deserved it 6 700

By ewewew - 24/09/2009 22:10 - United States

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 475

You deserved it 4 834

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 798

You deserved it 2 732

By hanzastfu - 26/10/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 804

You deserved it 9 343

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 449

You deserved it 3 286

By bmonehh - 24/11/2009 20:20 - United States

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 519

You deserved it 3 509

By obsessed - 27/11/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 247

You deserved it 89 717

Crazy

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 02:06 - United States

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 819

You deserved it 5 268

By harry - 04/12/2009 05:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 030

You deserved it 5 211

Don't ass-u-me

By yoyo22 - 05/12/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my friend on vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 014

You deserved it 9 442

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 029

You deserved it 14 156

Thanks, iHate it

By muggle68 - 10/12/2009 20:38 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 477

You deserved it 8 550

By B-Man - 11/12/2009 21:55 - Canada

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 709

You deserved it 10 052