johnel54

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Pittsburg , USA
33 years-old
Sunday 22 November 1992
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Johnel54's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 17/08/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

agreeclassic 50 160

vote type 1 7 990

Devious

By rachel - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

agreeclassic 57 030

vote type 1 3 915

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 10:05 - United States - Palmdale

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

agreeclassic 25 516

vote type 1 49 371

Boozed up

By speechless - 13/07/2013 14:32 - United States - Mitchell

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

agreeclassic 56 347

vote type 1 4 653

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

agreeclassic 476

vote type 1 46