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Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

#20178213
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22969) - you deserved it (1612)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

#21496646
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22960) - you deserved it (9729)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (3738)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (4441)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (4101)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML

#13788203
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (2926)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:16am - misc - by dearprudence89 - United States

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

#21481731
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/19/2015 at 6:15am - kids - by NotThePotty - United States (California)

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

#21507147
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (1934)

On 12/24/2015 at 1:10am - animals - by lolmyfduplife -

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML

#19238495
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22947) - you deserved it (13361)

On 03/08/2012 at 9:30am - love - by hairy (woman) - Serbia

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (3991)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)



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