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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (46006)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (12757)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML

#19591635
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (1548)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (191710)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (10038)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband's daughter told us that she's 5 months pregnant. I'm going to be a step grandmother and I'm only 23 years old. FML

#6001127
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (44747)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (6209)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (7399)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

#20065231
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (2096)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:12pm - work - by the bad artist - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML

#19684423
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (1523)

On 05/26/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by gazza (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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